Wednesday, December 27, 2006

This only sucks literally. Otherwise, it's very cool.


Cheryl, my domestic goddess, has gotten herself a fun little indulgence (as much as anything that involves housecleaning can be called an indulgence):

It's a "SweepEze," and basically it wakes up and starts sucking everytime a broom comes near. Or my foot, if I'm not careful. I think my dear partner felt a little silly for blowing $40-odd bucks on it -- nowhere near as much as, say, a Roomba.

I'm sure we'll be buying a new vacuum soon, after treating our former vac like a ShopVac when we put in the new floor. The belts keep breaking and it's just not well. Maybe we'll get a Dyson this time. But those cost a heck of a lot more than $40.


Or maybe by the time we're ready, these will actually be available to buy ....

Yes, those are vacuum shoes. Now you know what the good folks in Electrolux R&D have been up to:
http://www.engadget.com/2006/12/17/electrolux-unveils-vacuum-shoe-concept/

Maybe it's my cheerfulness!

How pathetic that my first post in days is about having a cold. Or, more accurately, not having a cold.

Thanks, Boing Boing, for this fabulous news:

Good moods prevent colds?
A new scientific study suggests that people who have a positive outlook are less likely to catch colds. Psychologist Sheldon Cohen and his colleagues at Carnegie Mellon University exposed more than 300 healthy adults to a cold virus and interviewed them about their emotional state. Those with "generally positive outlooks... reported fewer cold symptoms than were detected in medical exams." From Science News:
"We need to take more seriously the possibility that a positive emotional style is a major player in disease risk," Cohen says. Those who displayed generally positive outlooks, including feelings of liveliness, cheerfulness, and being at ease, were least likely to develop cold symptoms. Unlike the negatively inclined participants, they reported fewer cold symptoms than were detected in medical exams. The new study, which appears in the November/December Psychosomatic Medicine, replicates those results and rules out the possibility that psychological traits related to a positive emotional style, rather than the emotions themselves, guard against cold symptoms. Those traits include high self-esteem, extroversion, optimism, and a feeling of mastery over one's life. Link

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Clutter is a good thing?

I greeted this news with a mix of relief and fear: relief that I'm not somehow messing up my life (or that of my kids) by having a messy house, and fear that the news will somehow derail any sort of organizational effort that Dear Partner and I have had going.

From the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/21/garden/21mess.html):

January is now Get Organized Month, thanks also to the efforts of the National Association of Professional Organizers, whose 4,000 clutter-busting members will be poised, clipboards and trash bags at the ready, to minister to the 10,000 clutter victims the association estimates will be calling for its members’ services just after the new year.
But contrarian voices can be heard in the wilderness. An anti-anticlutter movement is afoot, one that says yes to mess and urges you to embrace your disorder. Studies are piling up that show that messy desks are the vivid signatures of people with creative, limber minds (who reap higher salaries than those with neat “office landscapes”) and that messy closet owners are probably better parents and nicer and cooler than their tidier counterparts. It’s a movement that confirms what you have known, deep down, all along: really neat people are not avatars of the good life; they are humorless and inflexible prigs, and have way too much time on their hands.
“It’s chasing an illusion to think that any organization — be it a family unit or a corporation — can be completely rid of disorder on any consistent basis,” said Jerrold Pollak, a neuropsychologist at Seacoast Mental Health Center in Portsmouth, N.H., whose work involves helping people tolerate the inherent disorder in their lives. “And if it could, should it be? Total organization is a futile attempt to deny and control the unpredictability of life. I live in a world of total clutter, advising on cases where you’d think from all the paper it’s the
F.B.I. files on the Unabomber,” when, in fact, he said, it’s only “a person with a stiff neck.”

Actually, it confirms what I've pretty much believed all along. It's nice to be as organized as you can. But I also know well what pathological clutter is, having cleared out my Dad's storage unit, and having avoided his house for months. I feel bad about that sometimes, but when I go to the place formerly known as home, it presses all kinds of buttons, especially the one that says: "Throw this shit away!" So I instead invite Dad to visit me, and leave him to his many old newspapers and, my favorite, issues of Catholic Digest from the '70s (we're not Catholic). Somewhere in all that mess are some things that are precious to me. I just hope I have the stamina and the patience to power through the crap someday when Dad's not around to stop me (and for the record, I do not want that day to be anytime soon).

Sunday, December 17, 2006

The Long Tail meets journalism

At the Big Internet retailer where I work, after having walked away from journalism, The Long Tail is one of the fundamental texts (you know, it's not about the First Amendment, so we gotta embrace what we can):

http://www.longtail.com/the_long_tail/2006/12/what_would_radi_1.html

Anyway, I was interested to see this intersection of my past life and current principles:

(These are from Chris Anderson)
Six tactics of transparent media:

1) Show who we are. All staff edit their own personal "about" pages, giving bios, contact details and job functions. Encourage anyone who wants to blog to do so. Have a masthead that actually means something to people who aren't on it. While we're at it, how about a real org chart, revealing the second dimension that's purposely obscured in the linear ranking on a traditional masthead?
Upside: Readers know who to contact. The organization is revealed as a collection of diverse individuals, not just a brand, an editor and some writers.
Risk: Competitors know who to poach; PR people spam us even more than usual.
-------
2) Show what we're working on. We already have internal wikis that are common scratch pads for teams working on projects. And most writers have their own thread-gathering processes, often online. Why no open them to all? Who knows, perhaps other people will have good ideas, too.
Upside: Tap the wisdom of crowds
Risk: Tip off competitors (although I'd argue that this would just as likely freeze them; after all the prior art would be obvious to all); Risks "scooping ourselves", robbing the final product of freshness.
-------
3) "Process as Content"*. Why not share the reporting as it happens, uploading the text of each interview as soon as you can get it processed by your flat-world transcription service in India? (This may sound ridiculous, but it's exactly what wire services such as the AP have long done--they update their stories with each new fragment of information). After you've woven together enough of the threads to have a semi-coherent draft, why not ask your readers to help edit it? (We did it here, and it worked great). And while you're at it, let them write the headlines and subheads, not just for the site but also the punchier ones for the RSS feed and the one that has to work with the art for the magazine.
Upside: Open participation can make stories better--better researched, better thought through and deeper. It also can crowdsource some of the work of the copy desk and editors. And once the story is done and published, the participants have a sense of collective ownership that encourages them to spread the word.
Risk: Curating the process can quickly hit diminishing returns. Writers end up feeling like a cruise director, constantly trying to get people to participate. And all the other risks of the item above.
-------
4) Privilege the crowd. Why not give comments equal status to the story they're commenting on? Why not publish all letters to the editor as they're submitted (we did that here), and let the readers vote on which are the best? We could promise to publish the top five each month, whether we like them or not: "Harness our tools of production! Make us print your words! Voting is Power!"
Upside: Maximizes participation.
Risk: If we don't deploy voting tools or (sigh) a login system, trolls may rule.
-------
5) Let readers decide what's best. We own Reddit, which (among other things) is a terrific way of measuring popularity. Why should we guess at which stories will be most popular and give those preferential treatment? Why not just measure what people really think and let statistics determine the hierarchy of the front page?
Upside: A front page that reflects reader interest better.
Risk: A more predictable and lowbrow front page.
-------
6) Wikifiy everything. The realities of publishing is that at some point you push the publish button. In the traditional world, that's the end of the story. It is a snapshot in time, as good as we could make it but inevitably imperfect. The errors (and all articles have them) are a mix of commission and omission--we hope for the best yet brace ourselves for the worst. But what if we published every story on a wiki platform, so they could evolve over time, just like Wikipedia itself? The original story would be the foundation of what could eventually become a version expanded and updated by readers (our Fortune 500 blogging wiki was an experiment in this). If you want to see the original version, just push the "original" button, or see any changes in-between by looking at the version history.
Upside: Stories live and grow, remaining relevant long after their original publication (at no cost to us!)
Risk: Stories get progressively less coherent as many cooks mess with them. Whatever brand authority the Wired name brings is diminished over time as the stories become less and less our own work.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Being an action figure

It's been possible to get "personalized" action figures for a while now. All it took was enough money, or enough sculpey and skill, and you could be immortalized in all your miniature glory. But through the magic of the Internets, it's possible to get a made-to-order action figure for something less than the $600 or so charged by the schmancy places (www.highlyflammabletoys.com).

The schmancy places are cool, of course, but cooler still is self indulgence at a fraction of the price -- http://www.herobuilders.com/ondemand/. The only downside is you have somewhat limited options (all boys). And it's got a hip-hop/urban assault vibe. But it's still cool.

If only I had the self-discipline to stick with my original plan -- sculpt myself to match action figures like Trinity and Wonder Woman .... I'll be honest: An action figure of a soft suburbanite just isn't ... explosive enough.

Having a hard time with gifts?

So, dear partner Cheryl and I have very different gift-buying experiences .... She seems to stress a great deal about what she's getting me. I generally don't stress as much. I get a couple of things I'm confident about and kinda color in the details.

Which is why I thought of her when I saw this, from a Journal of Consumer Research news release (via Boing Boing):
"Our results suggest that familiarity caused [people] to put an overly heavy weight on pre-stored information. The pre-stored information that people possess about their partner is extensive. This elaborate knowledge makes predictors overly confident, such that they do not even attend to product-specific attitude feedback.”

Boing Boing's spin is that this is why it's so hard to pick out a gift for a loved one, i.e., one is overwhelmed by their certainty that their dear partner or family member is more like them than they really are. But I read this with the concern you might expect from someone who recognizes her own overconfidence (on a good day). Yeah, I know Cheryl and I have different tastes. But do I REALLY use that knowledge when I shop, or am I buying her things that are all too colored with my own desires/taste?

I actually like getting gifts that are as much or more a reflection of my loved one's tastes than mine, when I like their taste (as I do with Cheryl). In a way, it's like seeing myself through another person's eyes. Sometimes, it's seeing myself perhaps as the other person would like me to be.

OK, back at it .... Chuck E. Cheese, Pirates, Percocet and more

Wow, is it really Dec. 14? Yes. It is. The month has flown by, and I've gone from 3x to 3x. You'll have to fill in the second digit yourself. Once I hit 40, my new motto will be "fuck it," but in the meantime, I will embrace denial.

Oddly, snow, Christmas lights, putting up a tree and various decking of the halls, etc. were all November things, though fodder for December enjoyment.

So here is what December has included: A flat tire. A wild Percocet ride (not for me -- Cheryl's back went out, and the pain alleviation process did the same thing to her mind). Several visits with Santa (again, not for me). Several birthday parties for small children. I decided not to have my party at Chuck E. Cheese this year, since Aidan stole my thunder.

Chuck E.'s reminded me of my family. We went there a number of times for my brother, and when I was was in college I owned and actually wore a sweatshirt with a Chuck E. Cheese character (something purple whose name escapes me). Is it any wonder I didn't get much action? Chuck E.'s now is a much brighter place with more child-protecting rules enacted. You can't leave with a kid unless you have matching hand stamps, which are applied at entry. Of course, someone at the party pointed out that bad people could perhaps find a way to do something untoward INSIDE the building, but I looked all over, and I didn't see a place where one could achieve something resembling privacy (or peace, for that matter).

But that's not what Chuck E.'s is for. It was actually kind of fun, but I'm glad our boys want to have their birthday at their cousin Delsa's gym.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

I'm not the only one with an Internet celeb watching habit ....

OK, I was checking out PerezHilton.com today, something I don't do all that often (really -- I'm a much bigger fan of Defamer.com), and saw this:

We set a new traffic record yesterday.
On Wednesday, we had 3.97 million unique visitors come to PerezHilton.com in that 24 hour period!!
More folks came to our site yesterday than read People magazine in the entire week!!!!
We had originally set the goal of 4 million by the end of December, and we already reached that. This is so beyond insane.
6 million by December 31st???


It's amazing how far you get when you'll actually run Britney Spears upskirt shots. (Confidential to Ms. Spears -- PLEASE start wearing underwear!)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The boys made it snow!

Or so they think .... I worry that they will be in for disappointment down the road, if their weather-creating ability doesn't hold up. But for now, they believe that putting the tree up, and getting all Christmas-y on November's ass, makes the flakes start falling.

The snow started falling when they were in their bath last night, but we still let them outside to frolic briefly. They just put jackets and boots on over their PJs! And, of course, they had to bring Duplo Thomas and Duplo Percy out to join them. Whether it's sand, water, or snow, Eddie in particular feels the need to pile it on to Duplo Thomas.

OK, even I'm not this maniacal of a parent ... yet

This just in, from the Associated Press:

'CSI' parents swabbing kids for DNA
Testing kits provide samples in case child is kidnapped or injured

MILWAUKEE - Many parents across the country are swabbing the inside of their children’s mouths to get a DNA sample just in case they need it if the youngster is kidnapped, runs away or suffers a terrible accident.

((Just wait -- it's only a matter of time before they come into play when the kid grows up and is accused of a crime))

News reports about child abductions and television shows such as “CSI: Crime Scene Investigation” are helping drive the interest in keeeping genetic records that could be used to identify remains, hair or blood.
“It’s the CSI mentality: that DNA is going to be the answer to any problem that comes up,” said Jerry Nance, supervisor of the forensic assistance unit of the nonprofit National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.
...
The kits are distributed by private companies, police stations, orthodontists and others. Most cost from $5 to $60, Nance said, but some are provided for free.
...
Ed Smart said he wishes he would have known about the DNA kits before his daughter Elizabeth was kidnapped from her Utah bedroom in June 2002. She was found alive nine months later. He said investigators took boxes of her belongings to find her DNA and did not get a sample back for weeks. Having the sample ready could have narrowed down suspects faster.
“It is kind of like an insurance policy you hope you never use,” he said.

The whole story is here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15922270/

Saturday, November 25, 2006

And, of course, we had to put the tree up.

So, we have a mostly decorated house. And a tree glowing in the corner. And too many ornaments to fit. The boys were adorable, and then, by the end of it, so excited that they gave me a headache. They get the high, I get the hangover.

Actually, it's not bad as hangovers go. The house really does look great. The only problem now is that Eddie keeps trying to act like Christmas is tomorrow. He knows it isn't, I'm convinced, yet I also think that part of him believes that if it snows tonight or something, he'll have presents waiting for him.

I think it's going to be a long December.

It's two whole days after Thanksgiving -- time to decorate for Christmas!!!!

OK, so the original plan for today was to see a movie. Probably Happy Feet, though I was lobbying for Flushed Away. Yes, I hate the damn penguins. And I don't care who knows it.

Anyway, we were on track for the movie, with time to stop at the crafts store (clarification: Cheryl wanted to stop at the craft store, and I wanted to be supportive spouse who appreciates the end result, but not so much the process). The whole end result vs. process thing kinda explains how I am about Christmas decorating. I don't mind that Cheryl has enough Christmas stuff to fill our house. But I get sort of rubbery at the thought of putting it all up -- not to mention the thousands of ornaments. OK, maybe hundreds.

Now, however, Cheryl has two VERY willing accomplices. Eddie and Chas decided that they would rather stay home and decorate than go to a movie. So here we are. Three of us are VERY excited, to the point of running around the house, singing and literally jumping for joy. One of us is excited, but in a moderate way that cannot possibly compare to the mania of the rest.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

DRM is not an abbreviation for drum

Before I started working in the realm of digital media (I don't count a newspaper Web site), I'm not sure I would even have noticed this tidbit on "DRM" from Newsweek via Boing Boing. It should also be noted that before I stared working in the realm of digital media, I did not read Boing Boing. And if you don't know what Boing Boing is, then you're really not ready for the concept of DRM, and you should continue to consider entertainment items you buy to be, you know, yours.

Anyway, here is the tidbit:

Now, an increasingly vocal grassroots resistance to DRM is cropping up. An anti-DRM campaign called “Defective by Design,” which is organized by the Free Software Foundation, has 15,000 registered members; the Electronic Frontier Foundation argues that DRM places limits on “your ability to make lawful use of the music you purchase.” Web sites like stopdrmnow.org and digitalfreedom.org have been launched “to protect individuals’ right to use new digital technologies” and urge boycotts on DRM-tagged content. David Berlind, executive editor of tech trade journal ZDNet, coined his own term for DRM: “Content Restriction, Annulment and Protection.” (Figure out the acronym).

DRM is going to be more of a thing. No matter how you feel about it (and I don't necessarily think it's evil), you should pay attention.

Monday, November 20, 2006

I enjoy the box opening process but not THIS much ....

I'll admit it ... I get a certain level of pleasure out of opening up my gadgets. I often save the boxes. But now that I look at engadget on a regular basis, I see many of these .....

http://www.engadget.com/2006/11/10/wii-hands-on-unboxing/

It's cute! Do they go to these lengths to document the undressing of a lover?

Friday, November 17, 2006

Awwwww .... a penguin with two daddies. What could be bad about that?

So, there's a book about a couple of penguins -- male penguins -- who essentially "adopt" a baby (penguin). Sounds sweet! I want to get one.

And, of course, it's controversial. From MSNBC:

SHILOH, Ill. - A picture book about two male penguins raising a baby penguin is getting a chilly reception among some parents who worry about the book’s availability to children — and the reluctance of school administrators to restrict access to it.
The concerns are the latest involving “And Tango Makes Three,” the illustrated children’s book based on a true story of two male penguins in New York City’s Central Park Zoo that adopted a fertilized egg and raised the chick as their own.
Complaining about the book’s homosexual undertones, some parents of Shiloh Elementary School students believe the book — available to be checked out of the school’s library in this 11,000-resident town 20 miles east of St. Louis — tackles topics their children aren’t ready to handle.


Here are more details: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15764474/

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

For Better or For Worse not forever????

OK, so until about six years ago, I was an avid comic page reader. I had fully bonded with the comics as provided by the Tacoma News Tribune, the newspaper I used to work for. Those comics were in color, and included all my favorites, especially For Better or For Worse.

FBoFW tells a family's story, with characters that "age" and seem to live real -- albeit wrapped up in a few panels -- lives. Family dynamics. Love. Loss. Sickness. Health. And a lot of fun. When I started working for the Seattle P-I, I quit reading the comics. They weren't in color anymore, and a lot of my faves were in the competing paper.

But I did keep reading FBoFW ... via the Internet (http://fbofw.com/). Creator Lynn Johnston has her own Web site, where I can gorge myself on the comic. But it's not a daily habit, or even necessarily a weekly habit, so I always end up devouring months worth at a time. In fact, I'm due, which is the second thing I thought after reading this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4326967/

Johnston's been dropping hints for years that she'll end the strip soon, and now there's a report that the clock has started ticking: As of the fall of 2007, the Patterson family will stop aging.
This
article in the Grand Rapids Press is not quite clear as to whether the strip will end, go on hiatus, or what. Sounds to me like the strip will end at least for a while, possibly to return in some format -- I'm just guessing here, but maybe via occasional Web updates, or a TV show or a Sunday-only strip? (nooo! Learn from "Outland" and "Opus"!)? In any case, the characters will freeze in time as of next fall.
There've been rumors aplenty that the final strip will be a wedding, and its last words will be the title of the strip (probably spoken by Patterson daughter Liz, since Michael is already married and April is too young).


OK, I just checked. I haven't read FBoFW since December! I have almost a year's worth to catch up with, which is both exciting and daunting. ...

LATE ADD: OK, for a minute I thought I was crazy .... the comic characters blinked. And their thought bubbles moved. But I'm not crazy! They're just subtly animated. Very cool.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

So I bet I'm at least a pound lighter ....

Is it wrong to give blood to lose weight? Probably. But what else is going to get me to do something like that? Sheer do-gooderness? Ha!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Pulpits and parties ....

So, my girl is a preacher's kid. And this weekend, for the second time, she preached at our church. And did a fabulous job.

The funny thing is, I don't think that she realized how natural she looked, both up in the preacher place and even while writing her words. She says I'm the speaker of the family, and it's true, I'm a natural at running my mouth, but she's the preacher. I actually get a little frozen up when it comes to God stuff. Like, I feel as though the Creator of all can see through the crap. Of course, the Creator of all gave me the ability to let fly. ...

Anyway, I know Cheryl will read this, and maybe seeing it in writing will cause her to believe me: She's a great preacher. I laughed. I learned something. (Cheryl called the Book of Ruth as "Desperate Housewives, the early years" and explained how feet is a Biblical metaphor for the male member. So when Ruth lays herself at Boaz's feet, well .... it takes on a meaning I'd never considered before.)

It was a sermon called "Family Values." She said that was 'cause Heather (her niece, and the church administrator) wouldn't let her call it "This Space For Rent" or "Coffee Hour Will Start Early Today, Like Now." My favorite thing was how she pointed out the irony of many straight couples using the "Whither thou goest I will go ...." thing from Ruth in their weddings since it described the lifetime bond of two women.

At our lefty liberal church, it was preaching to the choir. Kind of like what the Dixie Chicks did the night before. I expected at least a smattering of boos, like when lead singer Natalie "We're ashamed Bush is from Texas" Maines said things like "Did you hear they found Osama Bin Laden today? Yeah, me neither. Of course, you have to look before you can find something." There was a significant police presence at the event, and threats were apparently made on the group. Geez. It sure wasn't like that when we went to our last show at the Tacoma Dome (of course, that was The Wiggles).

Lights and sirens aside, can I also just say how odd it is to be political? I've still got a little of the "no cheering in the press box" feeling (I was a journalist for a long time, after all ....) but I've enjoyed becoming a part of the process. OK, for me, becoming part of the process is putting a "Had enough? Vote Democratic" sticker on my car and watching the kids while Cheryl canvasses for the D's. It's a start. I'll follow my preacher girl anywhere.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

OK, a little more politics

So I don't feel all gloaty about the fact that the D's have apparently prevailed today. I guess it's because I'm afraid that they won't be able to get their act together and really make a difference. But I'm trying not to get all cynical.

Just for kicks, check this out. It's really interesting to see what words emerge as you move back and forth in time ("economic" is a mainstay, "Communist" rises in the '50s):

http://chir.ag/phernalia/preztags/
Am I getting older? Smarter? More paranoid? I'm not sure, but this item from Boing Boing really bothers me. And I LOVE London:

UK is a surveillance society

Cory Doctorow: The UK information commissioner called Britain a surveillance society, where "dataveillance" of buying habits is combined with cameras and other surveillance methods to track practically every movement of Britons.
I saw this first hand, as when the London Underground phased out almost all forms of paper tickets in favor of the inherently less private RFID-based Oyster card (the only paper tickets remaining were single-rideday tickets, and the LU doubled the price of those). Even the banks get in on the act -- Citibank UK sent me a "mandatory questionnaire" that demanded that I disclose every source of income I have or might have or had, all property I owned all over the world, whom I loaned mney to and why, and so on -- they claimed that this was to comply with British terrorism rules. When I confronted them on this, they backed down and said it was an optional mandatory questionnaire.
Not only are cameras all over Britain -- especially London -- but many indoor spaces have rules that say you aren't allowed to shield yourself from their gaze, prohibiting motorcycle helmets and even hooded sweatshirts. The hoodie has become a symbol of surveillance-dodging hooligans -- a favorite (ab)use of the expansive, extra-judicial "anti-social behaviour orders" (ASBOs) is to order kids to stop wearing camera-foiling hooded jumpers.
The report's co-writer Dr David Murakami-Wood told BBC News that, compared to other industrialised Western states, the UK was "the most surveilled country".
"We have more CCTV cameras and we have looser laws on privacy and data protection," he said.
"We really do have a society which is premised both on state secrecy and the state not giving up its supposed right to keep information under control while, at the same time, wanting to know as much as it can about us."
Link

Now I understand how Lady Soveriegn (the Brit, female Eminem) could write a song about hoodies and have it be controversial. There's an interview with the 20-year-old was in the latest Rolling Stone (the one with Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert on the cover) and it's a hoot the way she gripes about how the grandmas in their rain hats get away with murder. I guess The Man is afraid to put his boot on granny's neck.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

You don't even want to know about balanitis.

So let me paint a picture for you ... two moms taking their son to the pediatrician on a Sunday. He's in pain. They're worried. And rarely have they felt their "two-mom-ness" more. This is because something is wrong with their son's boy parts. To be precise, his uncircumcised wanker looks like it tried to swallow a ping-pong ball. Yes, things are not well south of the border, and the potential for guilt is tremendous. I mean, it's not exactly an area of expertise for Cheryl and I. Though I think I feel the most inadequate, as I am the partner responsible for the "husbandly" arts of roof maintenance, garbage removal, bug elimination and the watching of football on the weekends.

The funny thing is that the men we talk to are barely more knowledgeable about the problem than we are. The male pediatrician struggles to remember the name of the condition: balanitis. It's an infection of the foreskin and/or head of the penis. Suddenly it makes sense that a day earlier Chas was talking about a bug in his boyhood.

Anyway, it's been willy/dingle/peepee central around our house since Sunday. Chas has to take medicine by mouth, and have an ointment applied to the afflicted area. "Is the swelling going down?" (Yes.) "Is it still purple." (No. And yes, it did look freakin' purple!!!!) "Will we still have grandchildren?" (No reason to think otherwise. However, if they have balanitis, I'm not sure I want to know about it.)

It makes me feel more politically aware than voyeuristic ...

Check this out:

http://www.newsmeat.com/celebrity_political_donations/

You can get info about celebs and feel like you're doing other than killing brain cells ... you know, it's important political stuff.

The 100% blue crew includes: Ben "I'm gonna be a senator someday" Affleck, "Buffy" and "Firefly" creator Joss Whedon and Reese Witherspoon.

Author Patricia Cornwell, however, is something of a disappointment: Yes, she gave a couple thousand bucks to Friends of Hillary, but she gave well over $100K to the RNC!!!

Don't forget to vote!

Friday, November 03, 2006

Wait a minute ... no Rene Russo?

From MSNBC/Jeannette Walls:

Pierce Brosnan confirms that he’s working on a sequel to the 1999 flick “The Thomas Crown Affair.” “Yes we’re going to have a crack at that and it’s a mighty challenge,” Brosnan told DarkHorizons.com. “It was a challenge the first time and it’s even greater now, so we should be getting the script for that in the next few months.” It will be based on the book “Topkapi,” which was a 1964 film starring Peter Ustinov.

But wait a minute ....

“This version of ‘Topkapi’ will have a different part, different woman, and different affair,” he says. “The guy is a little bit more seasoned and we’re using wonderful locations this time.”

OK, so the guy is more seasoned ... but let me bet that the woman is younger than Rene Russo.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Carrie Fisher: CrazyCool


This interview with Carrie Fisher is a delight, for this picture alone. Ny favorite exchange came on page 2, along with her list of meds.

I would be remiss if I didn't ask how you ended up in Star Wars.
I slept with some nerd. I hope it was George.
You weren't sure?
No … I took too many drugs to remember.


But here's where to see it all (you can skip the stuff about the dead Republican in her bed, it's not as interesting as it sounds):

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2006/11/wayne_carriefisher200611

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Gay marriage update, celebrity edition

So, apparently Ellen and Portia are going to tie the knot. You know, if you can believe the National Enquirer. (And, often, you can.)

http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/63692

The festivities will take place in June in a beautiful new home near Oprah Winfrey's palatial spread in Montecito, the wealthy community next to Santa Barbara.Although Ellen and Portia have been blissfully happy at their current residence — a 140-acre ranch home in the wine country above Santa Barbara — they instantly fell in love with the intimate Spanish-style villa built by famed architect G.W. Smith, and knew right away it would be the perfect backdrop for their ceremony.
"They're going to have a late afternoon outdoor wedding, possibly catered by Portia's favorite hotel, the San Ysidro Ranch," revealed the friend.
Portia, who has taken on the "housewife" role since her TV series "Arrested Development" was canceled, is handling most of the wedding arrangements — but the wine and music will be Ellen's responsibility. Ellen has become a wine connoisseur while living in the vineyard-rich Santa Ynez Valley, and she's picking her favorite local reds and whites for the wedding feast, said the friend.And Ellen, who has become close friends with Elton John lyricist Bernie Taupin recently, is hoping to have Elton perform a few piano numbers at the reception.
She's also enlisting the help of her show's DJ, Jonny Abrahams, to spin tunes for the guests.
The couple has been together since meeting at a VH1 awards show in December 2004. At the time, both were in relationships with other women, but immediately dumped their significant others to be together.In recent years, Ellen has kept her personal life out of the Hollywood spotlight and plans to keep the guest list small, says the friend — just family, key staffers from Ellen's show, a few of Portia's pals from "Arrested Development" and some close show business friends."Ellen and Portia have settled into a comfortable and loving domestic situation — staying in L.A. during the week while Ellen shoots the show and heading up to their home near Santa Barbara on the weekends," added the friend.
"The commitment ceremony is the next logical step."

And then there's that other "married" lesbian we know and love. This is from afterellen.com:

BECAUSE REALLY, WE'RE ALL THE SAME, EXCEPT FOR THAT LACKING IN BASIC CIVIL RIGHTS THING. There's an interesting new article on PopMatters.com called "Gay TV: Making Same-Sex Marriage Safe for America" about the effect of TV lesbians and gay men on the gay marriage debate. The piece is focused most on analyzing (and praising) Rosie O'Donnell on The View, concluding that "Rosie O’Donnell is doing exactly what she needs to be doing to make same-sex marriage less threatening or offensive to her audience: appearing not so different from any straight counterpart". But she and other gay TV characters are doing this by taking the sex out of homosexuality, because "In order to reach out to people who are freaked out by gay sex either because they find it 'ewwwwy' or because they’ve been taught that it’s an 'abomination', it’s safer for Rosie to talk about poopie diapers than Sapphic desires."
Overall, it's a remarkably insightful article for a non-gay publication, even if it is a bit disconcerting to read the phrases "poopie diapers" and "Sapphic desires" in the same sentence.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

What? They broke up? Really?

If you're not watching The Amazing Race, you're missing the best reality show on TV. And Sunday night, you missed the elimination of Peter and Sarah. She's an amputee. He's an asshole. They were dating, emphasis on the WERE.

Here's a postrace interview: http://tv.ign.com/articles/741/741464p1.html

And some highlights:

IGN TV: You've known each other for seven years, but how long had you been in a romantic relationship when you began the race?
Sarah: We had only recently started dating. We had both been coming out of relationships. I had been breaking up with a man that was living with me at the time and Peter had gotten out of a relationship. We had always flirted with each other and the idea [of going out] and we started seeing each other and dating. And then we went on the race, which, even though we knew each other for a long time, I think we were sort of imagining in some ways that there would be moments for nice sunsets and all of the rest of it. But then you get into the reality of it and it was really crazy and hectic, and I think we got to see how we both operate under very stressful conditions. You just see different colors and different sides. It didn't turn into the romantic experience that we thought.

IGN TV: You guys had competed together before in different competitions though, right? Was this just such a different level of intensity?
Peter: We never really competed together. In triathlon and running, it's an individual sport, so you just rely on yourself. So this was the first time we really had to race as a team.

IGN TV: So the Race just opened up seeing different facets of each other?
Sarah: Exactly. You do get to see someone in a very different way when you have to sleep in airports and just race, and you're tired, and you haven't eaten. You're stressed out because you can't read the signs; are you going in the right direction? There's a level of stress that you live with and you get to see different sides of a person.

IGN TV: Peter, there were fans who were upset about some of your confrontations with Sarah. How do you think you came off on the show?
Peter: You know, I have no regrets of the race, and I think you see one part of it. They never show any post-interviews of me praising Sarah and what a great job she's doing. You see me lying in a boat, but I was actually standing for a couple of hours cheering her on and cheering everyone on. And just being aggressive; wanting to win! And to see Sarah win The Amazing Race and all the people it could have helped, and does help and did help… It was a race and I wanted to do well and I think a lot of stuff is left out. They caught me at some bad moments, but I had a lot of great moments too. And I think when each leg of the race ended, we always reflected back on how can we grow from this and communicate a little bit better. Hey, we just wanted to win and sometimes you have to push the envelope. I didn't want to be somebody walking through the race and casually getting through it like some of the other teams. We were the leaders of The Amazing Race 10. All the other teams looked at us as being the leaders and the front runners, and we had to race that way. So it's not always the best scenario, but it got us two first place [finishes], a second, a third and then the first to the Forbidden City. Not too bad for us.

My favorite way to consume Apples ....


At the risk of living up to my "Haroldina" nickname (Dad's name is Harold, and sometimes I do things that bring him to mind), I'm going to confess that I love Mac/PC ads. The dude who plays "Mac" (Justin Long from "Accepted," "Ed" and thank you, IMDB, "Galaxy Quest") is adorable, and the Gatesian PC actor is hilarious in his stiffness.

Of course, wikipedia has info, including synopses of all:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Get_a_Mac

Better - Mac praises the PC's ability with spreadsheets, but explains that he is "better with life stuff," such as music, pictures, and movies. PC defensively asks what Mac means by "better" to which Mac replies that it's easier for Mac to make a website or photobook. PC replies, "oh, that kind of better. I was thinking of the other kind." The ad cuts to the ending splash screen with Mac saying off-camera, "What other kind?"

Work vs. Home - Mac explains how he likes doing "fun stuff" like movies, music, and podcasts. PC says he also does "fun stuff" like time sheets, spreadsheets, and pie charts. Mac says it's hard to capture a family vacation using a pie chart, however PC rebuts by showing a pie chart representing "hangout time" and "just kicking it."

I'm still not going to buy a Mac or an iPod, but I will go to the site and watch all of these entertaining little character sketches.

http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/

This is the view from my new dentist's office ... no kiddin'!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I'm just so glad it wasn't one of my kids ....


ANTIGO, Wis. (AP) — A toddler who went fishing for a stuffed cartoon character in a vending machine wound up sharing space with the toy inside the game's plastic cubicle.
Three-year-old Robert Moore tried to scoop out a stuffed replica of SpongeBob SquarePants with the vending machine's plastic crane on Saturday, but had no luck on his first attempt.
While his grandmother, Fredricka Bierdemann, turned her back to get another dollar for a second try, Robert took off his coat and squeezed through an opening in the machine. He landed in the stuffed animal cube.
"I turned around and looked for him, and he said, 'Oma, I'm in here," Bierdemann said. "I thought I would have a heart attack."
Store employees couldn't find a key to the machine, so Robert waited while the Anti-go Fire Department was called.
"He was having a ball in there, hugging all the stuffed animals," Bierdemann said. "He was so good-natured, but I was shaking like a leaf."
Firefighters broke one lock but then spotted two latches inside the plastic cube. They passed a screwdriver to Robert, who eventually freed himself.
He went home safe — but without a stuffed Sponge Bob.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2006-10-25-boy-vending-spongebob_x.htm

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

This is me, not quitting

OK, so I didn't post for a while. But I'm back in the swing, here (every post is me) and here (not every post is me, just the ones about video downloads):

http://www.amazon.com/gp/blog/id/ASDQOJGOVEX58

Like it's 1989 again, Part 2


So I listened to a CD today. Whoopee, right? Well, an act that pretty much defined my musical entertainment for much of my life has become something I rarely do. In part, that's because I don't drive for two hours a day anymore. But it's also 'cause I'm getting, you know, older.

I remember my shock when I learned that my co-workers only listened to talk radio. They didn't seem that old, or like their souls had withered to empty husks. Now, I understand. Well, I understand that I no longer crave fresh music the way I did.

Still, every once in a while, I will try something new. Didn't so much love the new Christina Aguilera, though I like the fact that she really sings. But I really do love the new Keane, "Under the Iron Sea." They're the guys who did the song about "Somewhere Only We Know." And while I've not quite made it through the album that song is on, I tried the new one. And it was AWESOME.

Click here and scroll down to hear samples. Choose any track: They all have a certain yearning majesty I just adore. http://www.amazon.com/Under-Iron-Sea-Keane/dp/B000FBHT1C/sr=8-1/qid=1161752146/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-1231922-6520159?ie=UTF8&s=music

It's fun to have that feeling: You know the one, where you're super excited about not just a song, but an entire album's worth of songs. I've not felt that way in a while … probably almost since I was wearing 501s.

Like it's 1989 again, part 1

So I bought some jeans last week. Whoopee, right? Well, I'm getting more joy from these particular jeans than from anything I've bought lately. They are Levi's 501s, and the last time I wore a pair I was twentysomething instead of thirtysomething. Early twentysomething.

They're not the same kind of 501s I had "back in the day." They're "preshrunk," which means I don't have to do the math of inseam plus 3 inches (or is it 4) and waist plus 2 inches (or is it 3). The amazing thing is that they were only $24.99, which is about what I paid "back in the day."

My only regret is that they're not smaller. … But my ass is my ass.

Eleanor Roosevelt had good taste

From Rush & Malloy (NY Daily News), who took a time out from covering the Paris Hiltons of the world to bring us this gossipy tidbit …

Did First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt have the hots for aviatrix Amelia Earhart?
Biographers have long speculated about Roosevelt's close friendship with reporter Lorena Hickock. Now comes author Gore Vidal to assert that FDR's wife lusted after Earhart.
"Eleanor did like my father [Gene Vidal] because he was close to Amelia Earhart, for whom she had a Sapphic passion that Amelia found disconcerting," Vidal writes in his second memoir, "Point to Point Navigation."
"Amelia said that Eleanor was always suggesting they make flights together all around the country, just the two of them, communing with the wind and the stars."
When Earhart's plane disappeared, Vidal quotes Roosevelt saying, "I made my own small investigation. ... I harassed everyone connected with the flight and the search." He says she concluded that, contrary to rumor, Earhart hadn't been spying but "simply lost her way."


A slightly less dismissive view of Amelia's potential interest in flying on "both sides of the Atlantic" ….
http://www.amazingdreamspublishing.com/patricianellwarren/lesbiansports1-2005.html

An Interesting RelationshipMuch has been speculated about their relationship. It may have one of those marriages of convenience that stud the history of American celebrities. Gay historians point out that prominent closeted lesbians and bisexual women have often covered their tracks this way. In Hollywood, Dietrich, Garbo, Claudette Colbert, Kay Francis, Tullulah Bankhead and Agnes Moorhead (to name a few) made such marriages. Even non-gay authors ponder the question. Donald Goldstein, co-author of "Amelia: The Centennial Biography of an Aviation Pioneer," said: "I think she and George truly liked and respected each other .... I don't think they had sex, for what that's worth. She may have been gay, and if she wasn't, she was [sexually] neutral. But I think their marriage worked. Amelia was a feminist without being a man-hater." Significantly, the couple had no children.

Ellen and the lesbian anaconda

I've not been watching Ellen lately (I'm more into the View with Rosie). Here is something very good that I missed (thanks, Defamer.com!):

http://www.defamer.com/hollywood/ellen-degeneres/ellen-vs-the-20-ft-lesbian-anaconda-208904.php

Steam trains are loud!!!

Ridin' the rails with the boys

So Cheryl, aka the Mistress of Fall Fun, bought the family tickets on the Pumpkin Express, which is a steam train that runs from Elbe to ... a few miles from Elbe, up near Mount Rainier. It was a ton of fun, and I'm not even a train freak (there were a few of those on board, wearing their shirts from other railways). Our boys wore their Thomas costumes, of course.

We got to stop, pick up punkins and candy ... and trade one engine for another, which would have been cooler if not for the oily steam raining down on us the whole way home. Ah well. Some call it "icky," others consider it "character." I'll go with "character."

Yup, it's a steam train!

Friday, October 20, 2006

This is the yard I liberated from blackberries ... coming soon, a picture of it fenced!

Paintin' punkins at the Y. Maybe someday I'll work out there again ...

So how do you know if you're addicted?

Are you addicted if you like to tinker on the 'puter ... while watching TV? Naaah.

From New Scientist, via Slashdot (yes, I know it's ironic that I found this ONLINE):
"Nearly 14% of respondents said they found it difficult to stay away from the internet for several days and 12% admitted that they often remain online longer than expected. More than 8% of those surveyed said they hid internet use from family, friends and employers, and the same percentage confessed to going online to flee from real-world problems. Approximately 6% also said their personal relationships had suffered as a result of excessive internet usage. 'Potential markers of problematic internet use are present in a sizeable portion of the population,' the researchers note."


http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/10/19/1931239&from=rss

Thursday, October 19, 2006

A transit cornucopia, or how many ways can I get to to work?

I've really put my FlexPass to the test this week, due to a variety of circumstances, including laziness, a doctor's appointment and lingering effects of cold medicine. Or maybe just more laziness.

Anyhoo, the week began with a bus ride in from downtown Tacoma after I minded the boys while Cheryl went to a church-related meeting at the ungodly hour of 7:30 a.m. I did the Tacoma thing because I could catch an express bus at 10 a.m. (in Federal Way, my usual bus connection, the last express leaves at 7:26 -- and this will become important later). So I took the 590 to Seattle, a Sound Transit thing, which means slightly plusher seats, but slightly less leg room. It was a fairly crowded bus, though there were seats for all. And I was TIRED. So I fell asleep instead of working. And woke up when the poor woman next to me gave me a gentle shove. I had slipped over into her personal space, you see, and though I'm hope I seem like a perfectly nice person, I don't expect people to let me just fall asleep on their shoulder before I've even introduced myself.

Leaving from downtown Tacoma has an advantage: I can take the train OR the bus home. I went with the train, though it's actually slower than the bus (except in extreme traffic situations). The train left Seattle at 5:40 and got into T-Town at 6:30. I was home around 7.

The next day, I took the 177 from the old Federal Way park 'n' ride. It used to be damned near impossible to find a place to park there, but now the "cool" routes go to the shiny new transit center with the parking garage, about a quarter-mile away. So, people like me (who aren't picky) get easy parking and a comfy ride.

I should mention that I took the 177 because I missed the last 196, which is the bus that I prefer. It leaves from the park 'n' ride closest to our house (about a 12-minute drive, including a quick detour for a very large diet Coke). Miss the last 196 at 8:08, and you can still get the last 177 at 8:26. Miss the last 177 ....

And you have a journey like I had this morning.

I didn't commute in on Wednesday. I worked from home, and went to the doctor. Thursday morning, it was back to work, but a cold that had been nagging at me all week was still nagging. I had the hardest time getting out of bed. And it's not that I was unaware of the time ... I just had trouble mustering the energy to care. So, I missed the last 196 and the last 177. This meant I could either drive all the way to Tacoma ... or see what Federal Way had for me. I knew I didn't want to take the 174, which has an average speed of about 30 mph and stops every 10 feet along Pacific Highway. But the 194 ... that I could do. It only stopped at a couple of park 'n' rides and the airport. And I got to work by 9:30. It was late-ish by my current standards, but I've been working every night (the curse of the take-home computer) so I wasn't too worried.

I took the 577 home, which was great in the sense that it was very fast: A true express from downtown, stopping nowhere between my office and the shmancy Federal Way park 'n' ride. It was a half-hour trip, made smooth by HOV goodness, while the 177 gets bogged on the 320th on ramp. If you've not experience the 320th on-ramp, just imagine the arteries of someone who eats bacon for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert.

This leaves me with two things to ponder: What means of transport shall I use tomorrow? And, should I go back on the Atkins diet?

"Halloween is coming up in a minute of soon."

So says Eddie, who just asked what time it is.

It's also time for me to either do some more blogging, or quit. I'm going to do some more first. Then, maybe, I'll quit.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

The rototiller is my friend. My angry, sharp friend who's hard to start and harder to control.

So I think I've already told you about our newly discovered chunk of yard, and my blood feud with the blackberries that had taken it over. The wounds are mostly healed now, so I won't belabor that -- until I clear the truly nasty and entrenched bit next to our driveway.

But for now, I'll celebrate the even, if somewhat sloped ground that is now ours to do with as we see fit. It was, just a week or so ago, ankle-sprainingly lumpy and messed up. But I borrowed my neice's rototiller and tore the crap out of the chunky clumps of grass and roots. A rototiller is quite a powerful device. And maybe someday I'll learn more about them. For this job, though, I just read enough to learn how to start it and maneuver it without losing a limb (i.e. at least half of the quick start guide).

Basically, a rototiller (or cultivator) is a couple of very angry blade-wheels that dig up whatever. (In our case, they dug up some barbed wire in addition to the garden-variety dirt -- remnants of the old farm fencing that I had to unwind from the blade-wheel's axle. Good times.) I'm not sure when I'll need to pull out the rototiller again, but I look forward to it and dread it both. It's tiring, difficult, moderately scary but ultimately satisfying work. Not unlike the entire blackberry vendetta.

The beads on the bus

There's a woman who sits across from me on the bus, fidgeting and talking to herself. But it's not what you think, if you're thinking of unpleasant public transit stereotypes. She's not covered in mysterious stains or exuding mysterious smells. She's a perfectly nice, quiet woman of indeterminate middle age, on her way to work. And she prays the rosary, sometimes the whole way.
I mean, the drivers make me nervous too at times. They can get a little lead-footed. But this woman is either seriously worried about physical harm or her soul or both because the second the wheels begin to turn, her wheels begin to turn as well. The prayers and bead-caressing begin. I also feel like she's looking at my with a particular intensity, somehow sizing me up, or perhaps challenging me to challenge her, since I clearly notice her behavior.
The other day, I ran into her at Costco. I'm surprised I noticed, considering that my first-born son was having a total nut-out over the fact that he didn't get to hand our receipt to the person checking carts at the exit. She gave me that same look, plus a slight, smilish rise of the lip. Maybe someday I'll actually talk to her instead of merely filling in the blanks.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

More Paula Poundstone ...

OK, so I got distracted for a few days and failed to fully convey the hilarity of Paula Poundstone. Here's some of what she said at her private show for employees of the Big Internet Retailer I work for:

"I have terrible short-term memory loss, but I prefer to think of it as presidential eligibility."
She told us something else about herself:
"I have OCD. I cannot stop talking for the life of me and I managed to turn it into a career.Which is a good thing. But not socially."
And then she riffed on the Big Internet Retailer, after first seeming surprised that it sells not just books but pretty much everything. Here's how she responded to hearing that she was in just one BIR building in Seattle:
"There's another building? There's many buildings? Hey, if this 'selling everything' takes off, there will be many, many buildings."
She remarked upon some BIR recruiting efforts ….
"I saw the posters: 'Do You Know Anybody?' … Isn't that nepotism?"
And then she talked to some folks about their work, including some poor soul who does some kind of tax figuring.
"No wonder they have posters looking for new employees.?
Finally, when she asked how much time she had, the message from the room was to just roll.
"You don't exactly seem hard at it. How the fuck are you going to sell everything?"

Monday, October 02, 2006

Reason No. 482 why I love my job: Paula Poundstone stopped by!

OK, so it's been almost exactly six months since I left newspapers. It was a career that put me into proximity with famous people and provided me with free stuff. You know, in addition to all that journalistic business like comforting the afflicted and afflicting the comfortable and all that.

Afflicting the comfortable .... as if being comfortable is a bad thing? I don't think so, if you're treating people fairly and trying to leave the world better than you found it. But I digress.

My life as an employee of an unnamed Seattle-based Big Internet Retailer (you'll never guess which one!) has also involved free stuff and celebrities. The most recent example of this came on Friday, when Paula Poundstone stopped by. (This, the day after I stopped by the "duty free zone" where unwanted promotional media items sent to the BIR await trips to shelves such as mine. Best find: the Cindy Sheehan book, which I gave to Cheryl, who reads meaningful, topical, thoughtful things while I look for things featuring superheroes or lesbian detectives.)

Paula was a hoot. Very humble, as you might expect from someone who has been publicly dragged through the mud. Yes, it was largely mud of her own making. And that probably makes it worse. It's hard to understand how someone can get drunk and drive with their kids, but it's not hard to understand how a parent can do things they regret. God knows I have, though thankfully these things have not involved cars or alcohol or paparazzi or police. They've tended to involve something like raising my voice when someone gets too distracted to pee in the potty and I have to change the fourth pair of wet pants that day. Or letting kids eat cottage cheese with milk (a favorite snack of mine and theirs) in bed. But I digress again.

Paula has a book out. I'll plug it, for all two of my readers: "There's Nothing in this Book I Meant To Say."

The best $12 haircut EVER!!!!! (aka Get Thee to the Gary Manuel Aveda Salon!!!!!)

So I walk into the salon the other week, and I am immediately filled with the usual mix of excitement and dread ... Yay, I'm getting a haircut! Shit, I'm not very cool! Damn, maybe I should have combed my hair this month!

I did not expect to feel this at the training salon, but the Gary Manuel Aveda Institute is not your typical training salon. It's JUST LIKE a schmancy joint, down to the vaguely distainful people at the front desk, and the pitcher or water next to the herbal teas that you're invited to relax with while you await your special moment.

But then, my haircutter arrived. Belle was her name, and she had a big, friendly smile. No disdain, no too cool for school-ness that can sometime accompany hipsterism. Then she said, "You're my first customer!" And I immediately knew that she didn't mean "First customer today." Though I kind of hoped it. Then I thought, fuck it, it's just hair. What's the worst that can happen?

Well, Belle did a great job. She was careful, precise, and fun to talk to. I learned about the beauty school process, which in this case involves a lot of learning the "Aveda/Gary Manuel" way. That is to say, students often already know how to cut hair. They just don't necessarily do it exactly as Gary would want. And they do things like use the word "bangs" when they should use the word "fringe." Though when Belle referred to my fringe, I thought of the surrey with it on the top. (That's a show tunes reference, kids. "Oklahoma," a classic).

Anyhoo, I'll be going back to Belle. My $12 bought me a solid haircut, a stress-relieving shoulder rub (part of the deal all the time, not just for "first customers ever") and a good story to tell.

Here's the info: Gary Manuel Aveda Institute
www.gmaveda.com
206-302-1044
1514 Tenth Ave., just off behind Broadway, between Pike and Pine.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Starting my morning with a brisk run ....

So, Day 2 of the train experiment continues. And I made it today, but barely. The auxiliary parking lot was full, so I had to park on the street, kinda down the road (hope I don't get a ticket). It wasn't far, really, but pretty far when I had to sprint it. Well ... sprint is relative. I ran as fast as I could and just barely made it. I ran so fast that I actually ended up coughing for half the train ride. It made me feel for my asthmatic boy. And it made me realize that I better make sure I leave the house by 7 and not 7:05.

Monday, September 18, 2006

"Sheep are insane"

So I'm spending a little time on the porcelain altar of concentration with the Entertainment Weekly fall movie guide and I come across this tidbit from Catherine Hardwicke, director of the upcoming "The Nativity Story," starring the excellent Keisha Castle-Hughes from "Whale Rider":

"Now the sheep come in," Hardwicke says, in the midst of her description of the challenges of staging the nativity. "Sheep are insane, mentally. They go into a spiraling vortex when they get agitated. It's the strangest phenomenon I have ever seen, and the most annoying."

Sheep. Yes, we put our kids on wooly spirally vortexes at the fair.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

The fair or (mutton) bust

We did a lot of fun things at the fair on Saturday. We milked a (fake) cow. We had a yard of lemonade (two, actually). We stared lovingly at someone's Thomas the Tank Engine collection in the hobby hall. We rode in "drivable" cars on the midway. We checked in with a put-upon mama pig and her piglets. We checked out all the crap for sale, and resisted the impulse to buy (though the dryer-vent-cleaning brush set will probably come home with us this week).

But all of those things have been completely overshadowed by the Mutton Busting. What is Mutton Busting? Well, it's like bull riding. For kids. But instead of bulls, the tots ride sheep. Sounds like fun, right? Well, it did. And as you can probably tell from the pictures that precede this entry, it was an adventure rich in anticipation. The boys weren't the least bit scared at the notion of riding semi-domesticated livestock, God bless 'em. They probably trusted us.

Here was my thought process. I saw and heard a crowd behind the rides. I took a peek. I saw a kid on a dirty, vaguely sheep-shaped streak in the ring. I thought, "How cool!" Our neighbor had talked it up, and hey ... what if our kids had mad rodeo-style skills, just waiting to be unleashed? I know: it's silly. But it probably won't be the last time.

The boys seemed excited at the prospect of sheep riding. Chas was even jumping up and down. They got a little less excited when we put the protective vests and full-face helmets on them. Then, they saw the first contestant go. And fall. The crowd went nuts, and so did Chas, who was supposed to go second. He started crying and screaming, so we pulled him off the sheep. And we tossed Eddie onto it. Eddie didn't cry, or seem upset. He just leaned over, grabbed a couple of handfuls of wool, and ...

Ended up on the ground, screaming, about 10 feet from the fence. It happened so fast. Cheryl captured the moment Ed went flying, and you can see that at her blog:

eddieandchasdiaries.blogspot.com

It's really something. Once I consoled my sobbing but seemingly undamaged boy, I reflected on the madness of what we had done. It seemed like such a relatively harmless if not good idea at the time. Not every kid can say they busted a mutton, after all. I'd like to say a lesson was learned, but I don't know ....

We'll just have to see what happens when trying something stupid and potentially injurious is THEIR idea.

Friday, September 15, 2006

Wear one for the Gipper! (This retro-style headgear is allegedly hip among football fans, but I don't think it works on me.

It's not just little boys who love trains ....

OK, so I just got on the train at the Puyallup station. It went really, really well, though I didn't have time to stop for a mega gulp. But that should not be the deal maker or breaker.
I'm sitting in a comfy chair with my computer on a nice, solid table …. Once again, I'm overcome with the notion that this is the only way to ride. And it doesn't cost me a dime, since my workplace provides the blessed FlexPass. Blessed, blessed Flexpass, ticket to trains, buses, and everything but boats.
It's true: I can work on my computer on the bus also. But that requires careful balancing, and frequently the light is so bad (or the glare, specifically) that I can barely see the screen. And the bouncing and turning can be downright discomfiting. Not so much is this the case on the train.
Just stopped at the Sumner station. Out the window, I can see a store called, seriously, Sumner Animal Grub. Now cruising toward Auburn, were I had previously caught the train. But downsides to the Auburn station were significant: Too many cars, not enough parking, too much traffic on the roads to get there …..
So, I think I'll be sticking to the Puyallup station. It took me 15 minutes to get there from home, and I had alloted myself 20, so I didn't have to sprint from the parking area or panic in any way. Fabulous. The only downside, if you can call it that, is that I can sleep later when I ride the bus, and it takes me slightly less time to get from home to the bus stop. Plus, if I miss the bus, there's another bus not far behind. The train I'm riding is the last of the a.m.
Did I mention how civilized I feel? I should be drinking tea.
Pros of the train: comfort, zero traffic, better for working, comfort,
Cons: Have to get up a half-hour earlier (but either way, the family's asleep when I go)
Pros of the bus: convenient, more time options
Cons: not always comfortable, traffic (which can stretch the trip into 1-1/2 hours), not easy to work, though it can be done
Just saw a fellow Big Internet Retailer employee, who I recognized by his badge. I never noticed badges in the city, but now I see that many people have them. Some hide them, some seem proud, some are just trying not to lose them. I'm usually the latter. I wonder if he's a regular. I think I may become one.
OK. Now I'm going to find out if the train is better for sleeping.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

The greatest Halloween costumes EVER!!! (Which is why they're on early)

The old dude with the MP3 player

Let me paint you a picture: Large bifocals. Hat promoting what appears to be heart medicine. Eyes like I remember my grandpa's eyes: Lens-magnified, a little too watery and folded into loose lids. Skin that's not as wrinkled as it wants to be because gravity has pulling some of the wrinkles out.
Oh yeah … and an MP3 player. You don't see that every day.
And then I thought about it. He's probably younger than he looks. Maybe he's in his 60s. Which means he came of age firmly in the rock 'n' roll era. Is that The Big Bopper on his MP3? Really, it could just as easily be the Stones. God knows I often listen to the bands that hit when I was twentysomething.
The bus is slow. Traffic is thick. I want to ask this guy what he's listening to. But he's sleeping. Good cover for my cowardice.

Leadfoot on the 196

Very, very busy at the park 'n' ride today. So busy, in fact, that I had to squeeze into a questionable spot right up against the crosswalk. (But I think I'm OK.)
My rookie year of bus commutership is moving toward fall, which so far appears to be marked with rain and very crowded buses. I am, as I write this, sitting in the undesirable middle seats on the hinge of the double bus. I have only some vinyl between me and the outside, and the seats are neither as sturdy nor as padded as the others. I don't mind it here, though. Legroom is usually decent, and only once has someone sat next to me, so I can sit next to my Ultimate Gulp and relax. It's noisy, but I've got the noise-canceling headphones to address that.
The one thing that's kind of a bitch no matter where you are in the bus is a driver who slams on the brakes. I don't mind when they go fast, though it can get a little bumpy. Who am I kidding? It gets a lot bumpy. I half-expect my kidneys to get slammed up to north of my lungs. But the real sucky part is when the driver has to slam on the brakes. I've not experienced rubber-burning skids, but I have experienced the kinds of stops and slowdowns that send bags flying into aisles. And riders, if they're not careful. I wonder if the driver is ever tempted to hit the brakes a little too hard just to fuck with us. We're his little puppets, stringless and prone to flying about.

Waiter, there's a tendon in my soup


Oh wait. I ordered it. Yes, at the pho place near my work, I got nutty and ordered my pho (noodle soup) with beef and tendon. What that meant was that my soup came with something that looked like chunks and slices of fat. But, when eaten, they were surprisingly (to my white, suburban, mac 'n' cheese-raised palate) good. An interesting texture, somewhat resistant to my bite but not tough. The flavor of, well, the soup. I ate a number of pieces and now two things are clear:

1. I'm happiest when I don't think too much about the fact that I had tendon soup for lunch. And …


2. I have no idea what tendons are made of. I need to find out.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Launched, and a clean house to boot!

OK, how good is this? We've got our product in the air. It's not perfect. But it's flying.

And over the weekend, in addition to doing a small and very reasonable amount of work, my family and I managed to get the house (the front part of it, anyway) to some semblance of order. So I am happy, happy, happy. It's amazing how many things seem surmountable when the house is clean.

Even the 57 loads of laundry that need doing. :)

Launch is a journey, not a destination

At least that's how it felt last week when I wrote this. It was our third take on launch day.

We are, I believe, fairly public. All that's missing is the shouting, unless a senior VP's appearance on the Today show counts as shouting.
So now, I'm taking a moment to catch my breath. Most of my fires are out, though I'm sure new ones will flare up soon, soon, soon. I got all of four hours of sleep last night, which was semi-refreshing. More refreshing than you might expect, actually. And I got some hugs from my boys, which was awesome.
And now I'm sitting in a room full of 40-odd big boys. Perhaps not surprisingly, a certain musk hangs in the air. I consider it a prelude of sorts to what awaits my senses as my guys grow up. Musk, testosterone, urgency, moments of laughter.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

At last, I can cheer without feeling like I'm supporting a child molester

Deadspin.com, the only sports blog worth reading, reports that the NFL has effectively banned "Rock 'n' Roll, Part 2." You know the song, even if you don't know the title. It's an infectious, stomping, nearly lyric-less thing, and it was written by Gary Glitter, convicted child molester.

That means, every time it got played, he got paid. Which meant more money to download kiddie porn and go to Thailand and do very bad things. So we'll just have to find another song to cheer along to. And it doesn't need to be done by an angel, though I'd count R. Kelly out.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

A moment of appreciation for health technology

So as I sat in the outdoor-smoking-area-turned-health-fair today, I couldn't help but be impressed by the tools in use. So offhand, and yet so fast and easy-breezy.
Checking bone density involves taking off your shoe and putting your foot into a plastic thing that's smaller than most footstools. It inflates like two balloons on each side of your ankle, then does an ultrasound, of all things.
Cholesterol gets tested with a drop of blood on a piece of paper. Amazing.
And then they look at you with special glasses, and they can tell if you've got a tumor.

(OK, I'm kidding about the last part.)

All's fair in love and ... health?

Is it possible to find out how healthy you are while standing out on the concrete open space between your building and the building next door?
I don't know. But I tried today. I got various blood things and even my bone density tested. And I didn't really get any surprises, though my cholesterol was a LITTLE higher than I would like (200). My body fat percentage was also higher than I would like (33 percent). Amazingly, this is within the normal range. Still, it translates to 66 pounds of fat. And yes, if you're a smarty you can do the math and find out what I weigh. I don't care. Fuck it, I'm almost 40. And from 40 on, that's my new motto. Hell, that's my motto now: Fuck it!!!!
My blood sugar was 90-something, which is fine. And my bone density was all right, but not great. A little below the curve, actually. I guess I should maybe take my vitamins. Maybe some calcium. And weight-bearing exercise. You know, instead of all of that exercise I've been doing that is non-weightbearing. Yeah, that's it.
There was one weird result: I did the chiropractic screening, just for kicks. It involves standing on two scales and seeing how much weight you put on each one. And my right was heavier than my left by eight pounds. They say anything more than two is considered a lot.
So, I decided to go to the chiropractor tomorrow, just to see what he says. I'm not really interested in signing on for an intensive program of voodoo doctorin' but I am curious.
I actually did do the back adjustment thing for a while about 10 years ago or so, but with an osteopath, not a chiropractor. I think I felt like that gave it the feeling of "real" medicine.
And yes, I know ... chiropractic IS real. I'm just not too sure about it. But I wasn't too sure about organic food either, and I've come around on that one.
(Yes, dear departed Mom, you were right. I imagine that whether you're in the fluffy clouds or the hot place, you don't mind hearing that.)

1983 called ... they want their concert back

Someone I work with is selling tickets to a concert taking place Thursday night ... a concert that a bunch of my high school friends would have killed to attend.

It's Def Leppard-Journey. And DL gets top billing, which I find interesting. Wonder if it's Steve Perry Journey.

Anyway, the tickets are going for $100 for the pair. Which is about $50 less than what the seller paid.

And wouldn't even go if someone gave me the tickets and gas money.

Monday, August 28, 2006

Me vs. the Blackberries, Round 2

The battle continues. Me vs. the nasty, prickly blackberry vines. Me, armed with just my $12 snippers. (Which is pretty expensive for snippers, so I am well armed.) I talked to one of our neighbors about my project, and she looked at me and my scratched-up arms with pity. Well, she should see my cleared-out space now. I would say that I am more than halfway to victory. And I am going to remember to always wear long sleeves. I will sweat, but I will bleed much less.

My cuttings have revealed what appears to be a boundary marker for our property. And it appears that our side yard is about twice the size I thought it was. So I now have visions of hacking down the blackberries next to our parking spot, putting in a retaining wall and filling and expanding that space. As well as pushing out our house -- and still having a side yard.
I am more stubborn than blackberries. And like blackberries, I can be sweet and really, really annoying. Kinda prickly sometimes but just trying to grow.

How could anyone nont fall in love with June Carter?


So apparently June Carter Cash personally approved of Reese Witherspoon as the person to play her in walk the line. Hell, no wonder: I'm reminded, after watching the movie on video (and zipping through all the long, often painful Johnny-by-himself parts), just how enchanting her portrayal was. She conveys so much with her eyes, with the set of her mouth, with the way she moves. It's just enchanting, really. Maybe I can just identify with trying so very hard not to fall in love. And with feeling that gut-wrenching, adrenalized ride of longing and how trying to crush the longing can be like trying not to breathe. Johnny's high on pills, low on the absence of his father's love and trying to foce his tractor out the mud. She's torn. And her mama sees it. And we see where she gets her wisdom. "Mama, I'm not going down there." "You already are down there honey." And thus began their journey together truly as opposed to powerful but only occasionally intersecting orbits.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

At least TOY Hummers don't hurt the environment ... uh, except for the plastic it takes to make them and .... whatever!

Saw the following at the excellent blog Consumerist. And thought of how much my kids love their Happy Meal Hummers. Which didn't seem at all dirty to me until now.

http://www.consumerist.com/consumer/toys/get-a-hummer-with-your-happy-meal-194793.php

Thu 17 Aug 2006
Get a Hummer With Your Happy Meal!
To the spittle-spraying vehemence of environmental groups, McDonald's is giving away a free Hummer with every Happy Meal.
Unfortunately, that didn't quite mean exactly what I thought it meant, as I found out when I rushed to the local McDonald's, ordered twelve from the beautiful teenage girl behind the counter, then expectantly unzipped. No, these are toy Hummers... Tonka-sized HUVs for kids!
The usual collection of people paid to be outraged are paid to be outraged about this. Quoth Brenda Bell, an energy policy analyst at the Sierra club: "[Hummers in Happy Meals] are about as responsible as dipping a Big Mac in the fry oil and serving it to your kids." Responsible? No. But that does sound delicious, Brenda.
But ultimately, these are toys. When I was a child, McDonald's handed away toy tanks, atomic monsters and laser-shooting robots. None of those are particularly good for the environment either.away a free Hummer with every Happy Meal.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

The strangest thing happened today .... I went for a run.

This is mostly only strange if you know me. Because you know that I tend to run only when I am being chased by bears.

But this morning, I felt restless, lacking focus and in need of a shower. Rather than just, you know, powering and/or sleeping through this, I decided to do something crazy: Run. I have been trying to be healthier and work out and such, so I had shorts, shoes, shirt, etc. I put on my headphones and ran for more than 15 minutes. And less than 20. I wasn't paying too close of attention to my watch, but I know that much.

Then I showered up and went back to work. Well, first I got the bright idea of trying to wash a stain out of my shirt. It didn't really do any good, and I just had a VERY wet shirt. And of course then, of all times, my boss and boss-like colleague decided we should go to lunch. I am quite professional, yes indeedy. Ah, well. It's an internet company.

Saw this cell phone on the Web and had feelings of techie lust


Multimedia, compatible with my workplace email …. Hmmm. I may be ready to take the Blackberry plunge when this hot mama comes out.

:)

BlackBerry 8100 leaks, multimedia features included Aug 07 2006 - 05:06 PM ET Research In Motion, Rumor, T-Mobile
<>
Photos of a T-Mobile branded BlackBerry 8100 have found there way onto several websites. The photos confirm Research In Motion's move into multimedia is coming soon. The 8100 is not your conventional BlackBerry, there's even a camera.
Known features of the BlackBerry 8100 include:
EDGE high-speed data
Bluetooth
microSD card slot
Camera (resolution unknown)
Support for various multimedia; including photos, music, video and ringtones.
While the pictured 8100 is obviously heading to T-Mobile, we'd expect to see a variant pop up on Cingular as well. Shipment dates are still unknown (since the device hasn't been announced), but we've heard before the holidays.

Saw this car (Chrysler Crossfire) on the way into work and had feelings of auto lust

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Yay for Tivo!

You know Tivo, right? God's own VCR? Yeah, I thought you did. It's basically an essential part of the television experience, something so brilliant that I'm stunned when it can't read every trivial thought in my head. Why yes, I would like you to record every episode of King of the Hill three or four times over! Just keep them coming, along with the occasionally entertainment show, sporting event and ... what makes you think I'd be interested Monster House, Tivo? What do you know that I don't?

Anyway, Tivo has a short cartoon that airs when the system starts up. Which isn't often. Tivo is basically always on. But they know how much kids love that cartoon thing, so in their new KidZone (essentially a setting where kids can only see age-appropriate programming -- no Real World/Road Rules Fresh Meat Challenge), just hit 0 and the animation will run. And my boys will laugh with joy and cheer. And dance. They love the Tivo.

"I think we've got some brand awareness going here," says Cheryl, in a triumph of understatement.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Me Vs. The Blackberries, Round 1

There is a corner of our yard that we've never tamed. We didn't know (or more accurately, sorta forgot) we had it until the people that live behind us tried to horn in on our property. Once the boundary dust settled, and the threats to call a lawyer subsided, it reaffirmed our ownership of a triangle of not-insignificant size in the back.
Of course, blackberries don't give two shits about boundaries. They have been horning in on our triangle for years, and it's just gotten worse, as these things are wont to do. But we're finally on the verge of getting a much-needed fence, which means the blackberries gotta go. Or else we need to give up and just cede them the triangle.
After considering that option seriously (I am as lazy as I am cheap), I finally decided to take the mofos out. Last weekend I attacked the blackberry vines, loppers in hand and string trimmer at the ready. I considered buying a chainsaw and seeing what gasoline and matches might get me, but my wife reminded me of my near electrocution when I thought it would be a good idea to cut through a printer cord with a pair of scissors (hey, I'd turned it off).
Anyway, I've made a significant amount of headway with only minimal blood loss (non caused by my own tools), so I'm feeling optimistic as I tackle the back half off the patch. Unfortunately for me, the loppers, the string trimmer (which ran out of string) and my new clippers, the back half is the more vital half. Vital, but still overmatched. I hope.
Maybe getting a buttload of blackberry brambles (literally) will imbue me with that kind of stick-to-it-iveness. We'll see, when the next home project comes around.

Dept. of Seattle Streetfront Surprises: Tributes (I guess they're tributes) to late Alice in Chains lead singer popping up around downtown

Dept. of Seattle Street Surprises: The grand and wonderful Union Station (aka Sound Transit offices)

Monday, August 07, 2006

My new favorite NASCAR driver is ...


Not Ricky Bobby. Though he has a certain mindless appeal.

Instead, I like Jean Girard, the gay Frenchman, who is actually treated with some respect. It's cool, and I love that NASCAR is selling his merchandise!!!! I may need to get one of these T-shirts, just to get my Pride on in a new and exciting way.

Eleanor Roosevelt and Talladega Nights

These are two of my favorite things. See the latter if you want to laugh your ass off. And talk in an annoying Southern accent for days (Or maybe that's just me. And Cheryl.)

The movie begins with a little known quote from Eleanor:

"America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, bad-ass speed."

Love it.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Mel Gibson hates gay people too .... (now I'm doubly glad I never saw "What Women Want")

http://overthetop.beloblog.com/archives/2006/07/mad_mels_tirade.html


Mad Mel's Tirade
By now, practically everyone knows about Mel Gibson's anti-Semitic tirade when he was stopped for DUI. Add to it the fact that Gibson's father is the leader of a Holocaust-denying cult near Houston. Back in the early 1990s, a magazine in Spain published some anti-Semitic, homophobic quotes from Gibson. It was quickly hushed up. When I interviewed Gibson in 1993 for his first directing effort, The Man Without a Face, I asked him about those quotes. At that time he said, "I have no idea how anti-Semitismentered into it. But I do feel that gay people will burn in hell. Their way of life goes completely against God's plan for procreation." When he said the words "burn in hell," his eyes gleamed as if that image delighted him. His new tirade will definitely hurt him in Hollywood circles.
Posted by Philip Wuntch of the Dallas Morning News

Want Samuel L. Jackson to call you, or your friends?

http://snakesonaplane.varitalk.com/


Go here. Prepare to laugh. The people marketing this movie are frickin' geniuses.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Like Harry Potter, but with a girl as the hero discovering her gifts


Are you one of the legions of Harry Potter fans? Yeah, me too. But even if you've had it with precocious, underappreciated youngsters discovering their gifts, give "The Wee Free Men," by Terry Pratchett, a try. It's a terrific celebration of girlhood, of coming into one's own, and of loving the place where you're from and the people who've brought you into being. Tiffany Aching should by rights be as well known as Mr. Lightning Scar.

It's also about some hiliarous little guys with a weakness for drinking and thieving and ridiculous strengths in just about every other area. (I found myself growing attached to Rob Anybody and Smaller Than Medium Sized Jock But Bigger Than Wee Jock Jock, which becomes amazingly easy to say and starts to seem quite right after a few dozen pages).

Who's the big bad? Let's just say that the fairy godmother ain't as sweet as you might think.

There are more books by the author and more books in the series. I look forward to getting lost in them.

Here's a review:

http://www.scifidimensions.com/Jun03/weefreemen.htm

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Fun with kidvid stars (Thomas meets Buffy, Bob the Builder becomes Bob the Raver)

Buffy meets Thomas the Tank Engine ... wow, hard to believe that there is a mashup featuring two such divergent, yet so important in my life, elements of pop culture:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsiNDLCkdjM


OK, here is Bob the Builder as a raver, sort of. Good times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxybaKPCrbc

The latest aches

So, played broomball again last night. And this time, I tweaked my hip flexor about five minutes in. I also took a ball to the face, so it was a good thing that I took off my glasses.

I decided to be the ref the rest of the way, which gave me something of a break. Damn, I am old. I may not play this game again, but I'm glad I'm getting a taste of the culture. And that culture includes a very Hooters-esque T-shirt for our team, called "Search Inside the Broom." The word "BROOM" is written in that familiar orange font, with an owl looking through the Os. So I said: "I want a size L, so it's nice and tight across my brooms. The boys laughed nervously.

Anyway, the big tourney is Sunday, at the company picnic. The roster is getting shorter and shorter, which means I may have to play more than I probably should. We'll see.

Eddie says "take my picture"! OK, buddy ... and note the beloved Cars shirt, which has been somewhat supplanted by the glory of Thomas

Monday, July 24, 2006

From Bezos to sex, space news abounds today

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/278627_space24.html

Report details Bezos' plans for private spaceport
Amazon founder's Texas ranch would be launch site

By MICHAEL GRACZYK
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
A spacecraft that Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is bankrolling would take off vertically from a private West Texas spaceport, but also would land vertically, according to an environmental report that offers a glimpse into the secretive plans.
The craft would hit an altitude of about 325,000 feet -- or almost 62 miles -- before descending and restarting its engine for a "precision vertical powered landing on the landing pad" in sparsely populated Culberson County, about 125 miles east of El Paso.



And then there is this, from MSNBC (which makes "hotter and wetter" sound like a bad thing):

Outer-space sex carries complications
Experts say new devices and data would be needed to hit the zero-G-spot
By Alan Boyle
Science editor
MSNBC

LAS VEGAS - Having sex in the weightlessness of outer space is the stuff of urban legends and romantic fantasy — but experts say that there would be definite downsides as well.
Spacesickness, for instance. And the difficulty of choreographing intimacy. And the potential for sweat and other bodily fluids to, um, get in the way.
"The fantasy might be vastly superior to the reality," NASA physician Jim Logan said here Sunday at the Space Frontier Foundation's NewSpace 2006 conference. Nevertheless, Logan and others say the study of sex and other biological basics in outer space will be crucial to humanity's long-term push into the final frontier.
"Sex in space is not just a good idea, it's survival," said Vanna Bonta, a writer who blends romance with space travel and quantum physics in the novel "Flight."
Sex in the space environment has long been a source of rumor and speculation: Several years ago, one author claimed that NASA had conducted a study of sexual behavior during a space shuttle mission, sparking a quick round of denials. Today, NASA follows something of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy on the subject — leading Logan to stress that he was not representing the space agency at Sunday's panel discussion.
The subject is coming to the fore again now for several reasons — including next month's publication of a book by Laura Woodmansee titled "Sex in Space," as well as billionaire Robert Bigelow's plan to host research into animal propagation on his commercial space modules.
After all, sometime in the next decade Bigelow Aerospace envisions putting a hotel complex in orbit, "where people will probably be recreating and having sex," Bonta said.
Woodmansee said sex would be "the killer app of space tourism ... because every couple who goes up there, or threesome or whatever their personal choice is, is going to want to try this."
However, off-Earth romantics will have to cope with some practical challenges:
Sex in space would likely be "hotter and wetter" than on Earth, Bonta said, because in zero-G there is no natural convection to carry away body heat. Also, scientists have found that people tend to perspire more in microgravity. The moisture associated with sexual congress could pool as floating droplets.
The physics of zero-G make the mechanics of sex more complicated. Bonta said it was challenging even to kiss her husband during a zero-G simulation flight they took recently. "You actually have to struggle to connect and stay connected," she recalled. Partners would have to be anchored to the wall and/or to each other. To address that need, Bonta has come up with her own design for garments equipped with strategically placed Velcro strips and zippers.
Although zero-G could be a boon for saggy body parts, Bonta said males might notice a "slight decrease" in penis size due to the lower blood pressure that humans experience in microgravity.
Romantics will also need to guard against the type of motion sickness that space travelers often encounter, especially if they get too adventurous right off. "Save the acrobatics for post-play vs. foreplay," Bonta advised.
For all these reasons, Logan said spontaneous sex in space could be "a little underwhelming."
"It's a pretty messy environment, when you think about it," he said. "And for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. However ... I can well imagine how compelling, inspiring, and quite frankly stimulating choreographed sex in zero-G might be in the hands of a skilled and talented cinematographer with appropriate lighting and music."
When the crowd tittered, Logan added, "I'm not kidding: Sex in zero-G is going to have to be more or less choreographed. Otherwise it's just going to be a wild flail."
Bonta suggested that a honeymoon space hotel could offer specially designed environments to enhance zero-G intimacy — for instance, "hydro rooms" filled with floating droplets of cool water or scented oil.
The issue of what happens after sex is, if anything, more crucial for those concerned about future generations of spacefarers. The animal studies conducted so far indicate that the "absence of gravity loading would cause all kinds of problems" for fetal development, Logan said.
For example, Russian studies with pregnant rats showed a 13 to 17 percent arrest in the development of nearly every area of the fetal skeleton in zero-G, he said. Logan also noted that the proper formation of neural connections — a process that continues even after birth — requires movement under gravity loading. Immune functions are also compromised in microgravity.
Logan isn't worried so much about the early weeks of pregnancy, but he said studies have shown that gravity should play a significant role for human fetuses after about 26 weeks of gestation.
"This has significant implications for the colonization of the solar system," he said. Multigenerational life might be impossible without at least some gravity.
As an alternative, future space settlers might create artificial gravity — say, on spinning spacecraft like the wheel-like space station portrayed in "2001: A Space Odyssey."
How much gravity?So how much gravity is enough? The one-sixth gravity of the moon, or the one-third gravity of Mars? So far, no one knows, Logan said.
"We still do not have an inkling of what the 'gravity prescription' is," he said. "Think of gravity as a medication. We don't know the dose, we don't know the frequency, and we don't know the side effects."
Cosmic radiation in the space environment is another worry surrounding fetal development in space — and Logan said there may be a synergistic relationship between radiation and the ill effects of zero-G on the fetus. The unknowns are of such great concern that, given the current state of our knowledge, pregnancy in space would be "very dangerous," he said.
The efficacy of oral contraceptives in space is also a subject of concern, Woodmansee said, particularly because studies involving other types of medications indicate that drugs aren't absorbed as readily in space as they are on Earth.
Beyond the romance, more researchLogan as well as Woodmansee called for more research into how biological processes work in reduced-gravity environments — not just in the near-weightlessness of the international space station, but also on research satellites that can reproduce one-third or one-sixth gravity. Only then can scientists figure out how much gravity will be required to keep space-dwelling romantics alive for the next generation.
"If you can't figure out how to 'bioneer,' you're not going anywhere," Logan said.
But if humanity can figure out how to live and reproduce in space, it would represent a giant leap — not only for lovers, but for evolution as well, Woodmansee said.
"Our children and our grandchildren, et cetera, will be space aliens," she said. "They will change how humans are. They will be different from us in some way. Maybe if we are really going to go into space, these are good adaptations, but they're going to be painful, I think, in any case. It's disturbing, but it's something that we need to think about if we are truly going to be a spacefaring civilization and settle the galaxy."


http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14002908/