So let me paint a picture for you ... two moms taking their son to the pediatrician on a Sunday. He's in pain. They're worried. And rarely have they felt their "two-mom-ness" more. This is because something is wrong with their son's boy parts. To be precise, his uncircumcised wanker looks like it tried to swallow a ping-pong ball. Yes, things are not well south of the border, and the potential for guilt is tremendous. I mean, it's not exactly an area of expertise for Cheryl and I. Though I think I feel the most inadequate, as I am the partner responsible for the "husbandly" arts of roof maintenance, garbage removal, bug elimination and the watching of football on the weekends.
The funny thing is that the men we talk to are barely more knowledgeable about the problem than we are. The male pediatrician struggles to remember the name of the condition: balanitis. It's an infection of the foreskin and/or head of the penis. Suddenly it makes sense that a day earlier Chas was talking about a bug in his boyhood.
Anyway, it's been willy/dingle/peepee central around our house since Sunday. Chas has to take medicine by mouth, and have an ointment applied to the afflicted area. "Is the swelling going down?" (Yes.) "Is it still purple." (No. And yes, it did look freakin' purple!!!!) "Will we still have grandchildren?" (No reason to think otherwise. However, if they have balanitis, I'm not sure I want to know about it.)
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2 comments:
Though I'm not happy to hear about the little man's condition (a ping pong, you say? ouch), I am OH SO pleased to know that there's at least one other set of parents out there who opted out of the circumcision option. I'm always worrying that ours is the only uncut boy in the entire world and will suffer endless humiliation at the hands of all his peers.
I find I am unable to ...um ... sit in my chair properly after reading this post. Eeeek! Glad he's OK.
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