Home, and ready for the next big, gay cruise

I've been remiss in my blogging, and I apologize to all none of my readers. I'm sure you've all been devastated at my absence and barely able to function. Well, prepare to resume your lives, because I have.

No longer am I living on a cruise ship, eating five pounds of bacon (and eggs drenched in butter) for breakfast. No longer are my days filled with swimming, shows, celebrity spotting and a bedroom that rocks back and forth with the waves. This is a good thing, as we got enough waves on our second-to-last night, when all the amazingly good weather turned to 50 mph winds that made some people feel like they were trapped in another remake of The Poseidon Adventure. (For me, it was the Barf-on Adventure, as that's what the boys did.)

But to linger on the nausea is to give the wrong idea of the trip. For six of the seven days, it was bliss. Like, weather so good that the park rangers were wide-eyed in amazement. Weather so good I never needed a coat. IN ALASKA. Was it global warming, or just God smiling on the gays? I think it was probably both.

We saw Mendenhall Glacier, and Glacier Bay (boy quote: "Oh, more ice.") We rode a train toward the Yukon, drinking our bottled water and hearing stories of why the place we were looking at was called Dead Horse Gulch. (Hint: It's not a metaphor -- times were pretty damn terrible then.)

We enjoyed the company of numerous celebrities. Oh, we didn't hang out in their stateroom, but we did see them "in the wild," like bald eagles (saw a number of those too). There was Sharon Gless at the buffet (and participating in a Q and A on Cagney and Lacey). And there was Cyndi Lauper by the stairs, being nice to our boys and their little pal. And there was Kathy Griffin headed for the elevator, barely looking like herself without her makeup. Rosie was more elusive, spending her time either in her penthouse overlooking the pool or on stage, ready to retreat through a private exit. Cheryl ran her down, however, and got a picture with her. And she ran into her in the wild as well.

The most remarkable thing about the cruise was the fact that everyone was made to feel like a VIP. Rather than just chocolates on our bed, each night we got goodies of all sorts, from a really nice R family backpack to a mug to a T-shirt and more. And during the days, the boys got stuffed animals, pirate gear and other fun stuff. Don't get me wrong, there was plenty to buy (and we did) but the treats were terrific.