Ny signs 1

Stupendemys

The Fourth of Jee-lye has come and gone ...

It was a day of massive yard work, laundry, getting ready for visitors ("When will our guests arrive?" asked polite Mr. Eddie), grilling, fireworks and not enough sleep.

But it was a good day. We bought $20 worth of safe and sane fireworks, which our boys appreciated -- until they saw the raging warheads our neighbors bought.

"I want some that go up!" Chas said, miming the flight of a rocket.

Of course he does. He is almost 4 and a half, after all.

You got a friend in me ....

Coming soon (or maybe I should say "later"), my thoughts on Brad Bird and why his movies don't feel like "real" Pixar to me (even though they're still very good).

Representing the (Sesame) street meets real street

So I'm on the bus yesterday, just riding in to the office wearing my "Representing the Street" T-shirt, featuring Cookie Monster, Big Bird, et al. And when the express part of our trip ended in South Seattle, a couple of guys climbed on the bus and started talking in the tone and style of young men sharing tips on going to college, moving out of the family home, first jobs, etc.

"Work out in the morning, every morning" one said. "And don't share food with anyone."

The last bit struck me odd, and I soon realized that they weren't talking about college.

"I'm always the last one out ... got an an eye on my cellie until they're asleep ... hope you don't end up in a cell with some big Bubba ... I feel bad for guys who ain't from the hood, they go in and they got no one."

Talk turned to jailhouse "relations" just before my stop, with the sharer of knowledge describing how he'd seen a white boy getting raped but didn't do anything about it. He talked about how he'd be dead before that happened to him. And said it all with what seemed to be genuine love for the guy he was speaking to. Though he might not be willing to call it that, you know, 'cause that might be too much like a step toward being "bent over."

And I was suddenly quite self-conscious about my shirt.

Just another June day in paradise ...

And yes, this photo was taken during daylight hours. In the middle of some sort of monsoon that turned the streets of Federal Way into rivers. I was relieved to see the rainbow and not some dude with an ark.

Not packing yet, but thinking about packing ...

OK, so vacation is slightly less than one week away .... and in quiet moments (ha!) my mind wanders to packing. Things I want to pack. Things I don't want to pack. Packing efficiently. I am a strange person, but this is all part of the anticipation of a trip, which to me is at least half the fun.

Anyway, I've come across a couple of sources that I plan to mine for packing tips: onebag.com (as if) and this post from "Seeking Alpha" (http://soundmoneytips.com/article/39228?source=feed):

Checking luggage is a pain. It takes forever, and sometimes, you never receive your bags. Here are some tips on how to pack lightly and tightly so that you can avoid checking bags altogether.
1) Make a packing list . Don’t use one of the comprehensive lists, easily found on the internet; make it specific to your needs. A list serves two functions:a) It prevents you from forgetting anything.b) It prevents you from packing unnecessary items. If you think you might need it, you don’t.
2) Edit the list. Check the weather report, and don’t pack winter clothes if you’re traveling to Miami in July. Make sure to pack culturally appropriate clothing, i.e., if you’re visiting religious sites, you might not want to wear a tank top. Pick clothing that you can mix and match so you don’t have to pack as many items. Add items sparingly and only as necessary.
3) Shrink what you do need to bring.a) Pack toiletries in small containers. You don’t need your entire bottle of shampoo for a two-day business trip. Besides, you’re probably not allowed to carry-on larger bottles of liquids.b) Photocopy pages from travel guides, and bring articles instead of entire books.
4) Pack tightly. Roll your clothing, and use reusable compression bags to save room. Stuff underwear, hose, and socks into small spaces (like the insides of shoes) that would otherwise go unused.
5) Find out what amenities the hotel already has, i.e., robes, hairdryers, shampoo, and don’t pack those items.

That time of the month

I don't just get grumpy-style PMS, I get clumsy-style PMS. Today, the fallout was the loss of my work ID badge somewhere between the office and getting my hair cut (not too short).

I have been off the anti-depressants for a few months now and I do notice a difference around PMS time. I just feel more ... scattered. But overall, I don't miss 'em. I just need to remember to breathe and be Zen. Which wasn't easy tonight when I put the big, plastic Costco-sized container of Nestle Quik onto a burner of the stove (which I thought was off). This led to burning plastic and chocodust everywhere. AWESOME.

I just need to make it through the week leading up to my vacation without going bonkers.

"When is Fourth Jee-lie?"

Eddie asked me that this morning. He's perhaps thinking about it because Grandpa Harold will be coming up that day ... and because things will explode (two entirely unrelated occurences).

I said, "Next week."

Silence.

"When is next week?"

I love the question-mark phase.

The boys' first ride on the Monorail! (And Cheryl's too.)

We got awesome seats on the Monorail today, which we took to get back to our car after the Pride Parade. All and all, it was a great day, though exhausting. The boys loved the applause and waves they got while marching with the GLAmazon team.

And the protests were minimal and actually rather pathetic. Someone screamed that we were abusing our children. You know, by being two loving parents who just happen to be women. Whatever. The guy next to the screamer countered with a happier message: "Congratulations!" On being parents, in the parade, whatever. He meant it nicely.

Lauren Graham redeems Evan Almighty ...

So, largely on my recommendation, the family plus beloved Auntie Cathy and Cousin Heather, went to see "Evan Almighty." I kinda liked it, though I acknowledge that it was kinda dumb. Great cast, though: Steve Carell, Wanda Sykes, Morgan Freeman, John Goodman, Molly Shannon and former "Gilmore Girls" star Lauren Graham, who added depth to a role that a lesser actress might have sleepwalked through. (She deserves an Emmy for her work as Lorelei Gilmore, though I'm not holding my breath.)

Here's something she said about the role, which had probably 1/100th the amount of dialogue heard in a single Gilmore episode:

"I have had years and years of talking fast and being sassy, and I'm as happy to do something simpler."

What's next for Lauren? AfterEllen.com knows.



Unfortunately, she will not be taking over the role of Lois Lane, though she'd be perfect for it.

And yes, she is smokin' hot.

My electric lawnmower is badass ... I shall call it Al Gore!

So I did some lawnmowing this afternoon. We'd let it go a bit, and I had my work cut out for me. Though, in fairness, the majority of the work was done by my Black & Decker Lawn Hog electric (corded) mower. The thing hacked through two-foot high grass at the side of our side yard, in the area formerly occupied by a gang of angry blackberry bushes. Now, however, it is somewhat civilized. Reformed, if you will.

It was with some trepidation that I bought the mower (about $230 from Amazon.com -- of course). Would it be powerful enough? Our lawn isn't small. Would the cord be a pain in the ass? Turns out it's no more a pain than a cord can be when you're vacuuming. You get used to it really fast. I haven't even come close to running it over, and I'm somewhat accident-prone. In fact, my family would probably say to hold the "somewhat" and trade it for "very, very."

Our mower is mighty like Al Gore. Good for the environment and all that. And like Al Gore, it doesn't need gasoline or new spark plugs or "winterization" or any of that pesky maintenance stuff. Just the occasional blade-sharpening and my mower (and Al Gore) are good to go.

But I'm probably still voting for Hillary.

A two-mom family torn apart ... my greatest fear

When my family (or anyone else) wonders what has made formerly apolitical me into a semi-activist who pushes back against their apathy for my cause, I can point them in the direction of stories like this:

The Olympian, June 17
OLYMPIA — Four months ago, Lacey resident Janice Langbehn, her partner Lisa Pond and their children Katie, David and Danielle, ages 10 to 13, were set for a relaxing cruise from Miami to the Bahamas. ((An R Family cruise, like the one we're taking in July.))

But Pond, Langbehn’s partner for nearly 18 years, was stricken in Miami with a brain aneurysm and died. The family says the way they were treated by hospital staff compounded their shock and grief.
Langbehn, a social worker, said officials at the University of Miami, Jackson Memorial Hospital did not recognize her or their jointly adopted children as part of Pond’s family. They were not allowed to be with her in the emergency room, and Langbehn’s authority to make decisions for Pond was not recognized.
“We never set out to change the world or change how others accept gay families,” Langbehn told the crowd at the Capital City Pride on Sunday. “We just wanted to be allowed to live equally and raise our children by giving them all the same opportunities their peers have.”
While Washington is one of a half-dozen states to recognize same-sex partnerships in some fashion, Florida is not. ...

((This part is the most frightening, as it demonstrates that even legally obtained paperwork can't always protect us.)) After Pond was taken to the emergency room, Langbehn said she was informed by a social worker that they were in an “anti-gay state” and that they needed legal paperwork before Langbehn could see Pond.
Even after a friend in Olympia faxed the legal documents that showed that Pond had authorized Langbehn to make medical decisions for her, Langbehn said she wasn’t invited to be with her partner or told anything about her condition.

My family seems to think Cheryl and I are "really" married, that our rights don't need protecting. God, I wish that were true.

A possible Cars 2???? (And more toys news)

We have been doing pretty well with collecting the toys from the movie "Cars." And then I noticed the Dinoco Helicopter on Amazon. It's being sold at a premium ($35 plus shipping), which means I'm not going to buy it online, but I've got my eyes open.



I'll admit it: It's a common occurence for me to run into Wal-Mart and/or Target on my way to work (I drive right past) just to see what's new -- and the answer is, not much lately. I scored just before the Memorial Day weekend, but things have slowed. Still need a Yeti, though.



Anyhoo, whilst searching for info, I found this interesting assessement of the Cars marketplace:



The big news for today is that I have confirmed from more than one source that they are in fact planning a Dale Jr. car (this is a shocker to me I was wrong on this one) and all the cars we have been rumoring for months, they are also doing Mario, Rusty, and Bug Faced McQueen, Bob Cutlass, and one that we had not rumored -- a blimp.
Tongue McQueen and Yeti are here as is a new Red Rimmed Hudson Hornet is not as hot as I though it would be luckily. Another rumored car The Red and White Ramone known "Cruisin" Ramone could be out soon.
The big rumor though is that there is a sequal a "Cars 2"on the way, although I have not confirmed this. It would make sense but I would predict a straight to video sequal. This is huge news for Cars collectors because the craze will just keep on going.
I have also been told that new playsets are on their way, what could they be? How about Sarge's, The Cozey Cone or City Hall? Well one answer is certain one playset will be a Dinoc Helicopter!
I really thought this thing was slowing down but with a new movie rumored well that changes this game a little.

A LITTLE??? A LITTLE????? Clearly, they don't live with little boys who want to watch the first movie almost every day and complaining that it's not in theaters.

A T-Mobile Dash for Me?

We're very, very close to a phone upgrade. It's been at least a few years, 'cause we've really enjoyed our Sony Ericsson T610s. But the time has come to move into the smartphone era. Which means my blog pictures will be easier to make out. And I'll be able to check my work email. Fabulous.

Many of my colleagues have Blackjacks. A Dash is pretty close to that. Nice phone, QWERTY keyboard, Windows Mobile, etc. I'm sure it's got many, many features that will surprise and delight me, as I've had the same ringtone for three years and pretty much use my T610 as a call-maker, picture-taker, and, when I'm feeling really fancy, a bus-tracker (yes, my big thing was adding WAP -- web lite -- service a couple of years ago). Thrillsville, baby!

Now I'm stressing about how to get the best deal. Have been reading The Consumerist. Feels like the thing to do is wait until the weekend the iPhone comes out and go to a T-Mobile store then -- leveraging end-of-the-month eagerness to meet quotas, plus iPhone buzz. We'll see if I can wait that long.

Obsessions: mid-June

Golf (since getting Cheryl's brother's clubs, I'm eager to use them)
Golf clubs for the boys (saw cheap good ones at Target and didn't buy; regret ensues)
A golf practice net ('cause I'll love golfing so much, I'm sure)


Where to go on our shore excursions (I think we're going to rent a car at Port Canaveral and go to Daytona -- NASCAR prevails!)

NASCAR (I was actually very, very interested in which team Junior would drive for.) That's Dale Earnhardt, Jr. aka "Little E"

What we're going to wear on the theme nights on our cruise (we need something that represents our state and will likely fall back on sports -- the Storm jerseys or WSU)

Gene Simmons' Family Jewels (like the Ozzy show but with a coherent star)

"Surf's Up" and more surfing

"Surf's Up" was way better than I expected. I figured it would be all right, and heard good things, but I have to say, it was extremely well executed. It's not the kind of movie that will change the world (or even, for that matter, movie-making) but so often a good idea gets overdone or otherwise destroyed. Here, helped by the very sincere voices of Shia LeBeouf (the emerging superstar of 2007), Zooey Deschanel and Jeff Bridges, Sony Animation made a movie that blew Meet The Robinsons (and a lot of non-Pixar Disney) out of the water, as it were.

The boys posed with the lead penguin, Cody, after the show.

Earlier in the day, while we were shopping at the semi-evil, sometimes boycotted megastore that shall not be named, we took advantage of some kind of soda pop promotion and the boys "surfed" in an inflatable ocean brought to us by Fanta or Powerade or both.

The boys helped me pick up some shelving at Lowe's

Things you may not want to see in your doctor's office

Although there are worse things a doctor can read about than avoiding fatal mistakes. I just hope that most of his knowledge in this area doesn't come from Reader's Digest.

Who Is Sick? The Internet Knows ....

OK, another cool Web site via BoingBoing: WhoIsSick.com, which tracks illness by zip code, type of symptom and more. It's as fun as a page with a tag cloud that includes "bloody diarrhea" can be!

Looks like the people in my area have a lot of runny noses .....

Remember all that talk of heat?

My fears that our planet would turn into a globally warmed cinder were allayed over the past week, when the rains came, temperatures plummeted and grass grew unmowed. Now, thankfully, the sun is back. But mercifully, the temperatures will stay in the high 60s to 70s range. THAT is Northwest goodness.

NASA vs. Daytona -- Which Display of Macho Power Will We Choose?

OK, so we're taking a cruise to Florida in July. And at one of the stops, we can go to either Kennedy Space Center (site of assorted blastoffs) or the Daytona International Speedway, where NASCAR champs rocket around a historic track.

For a long time, NASCAR was the leader, as we have one son who is racing obsessed (Eddie) and one son who very much likes racing. But they also very much like the space shuttle/astronauts/etc. and sleep in a Buzz Lightyear-esque room with planets on the wall. And, since we can combine a camping trip with a trip to Skagit Speedway, where they race sprint cars (and where NASCAR star Kasey Kahne got his start).

So it looks like it's going to be Kennedy Space Center when we hit Florida. I've always been a bit of a NASA fan, though the agency has certainly seemed to squander its promise. Of course, I'm not as frustrated with NASA as Wired magazine. I was actually a little bummed out when I read the criticisms saw the patch (though, oddly, my collector senses made me kind of want the patch). Should we go to NASCAR, and celebrate big, dumb and fast?

But this made me feel better: http://nssdocs.xisp.net/nsswiki1/ArchitectingTheFuture2007

The Imagination Movers: We Knew Them When ...

During the Rosie cruise to Alaska last year, we met the Imagination Movers, a fun group of tot-friendly pop-rockers. They were hard-working and earnest. We took a shore excursion with the proud mama of one of them, and have been rooting for them to get a deal with Disney.

Well, that deal is done. The Movers will have a show in the Playhouse Disney programming block, reports Dave Walker of the New Orleans Times-Picayune:

The Disney Channel is expected to announce today an October production start in New Orleans for a new TV series starring the local music group.
The show, which will emphasize creative problem-solving set to the Movers' catchy rock sound, will air during the network's Playhouse Disney programming block, which targets preschoolers. The group's music videos are already airing on the network.
The band first met with Disney to discuss a series more than two years ago. A pilot episode was shot in February.
"After seeing the musical group perform at Jazzfest 2005 in New Orleans, we were determined to find a way to bring their energetic and infectious music to preschoolers everywhere," said Nancy Kanter, senior vice president of original programming for the network. "They have already struck a resounding chord with our viewers through their music videos and we look forward to adding this talented group to our series lineup."
Disney will also announce an October release, on Walt Disney Records, for "Juicebox Heroes," a compilation of tunes from the group's existing albums originally scheduled for release in March. An album of new songs culled from the new series is now slated for a 2008 release.

Not that it matters, but ... Ratatouille has at least one good review

Our boys are Pixar buffs who already have a stuffed rat they call "Ratatouille." It's from Ikea, so its real name is "Minnen Ratta." All this because of seeing, like, previews of a movie that won't be out for weeks yet.

The good news is that apparently this movie doesn't suck:

I’m wondering, at this point, when Pixar’s going to screw it all up. Earlier today I saw a screening of their latest, the excruciatingly named Ratatouille, and I’m going to say here and now that it’s the best thing they’ve done so far. Which’d be fine, you know, if they hadn’t also done The Incredibles, and Finding Nemo, and Toy Story—animated films that boast better narratives and characters than most live-action productions, and look gorgeous to boot.
Ratatouille—and if you haven’t seen the great trailer yet, I’d advise you to—follows Remy, a rat living in France who loves good food. (No, I’m not going to call him a “foodie,” as that term is annoying as fuck even when it’s not being applied to cartoon characters.) Problem is, Remy (voiced by awesome comedian Patton Oswalt) is still a rat, which means he’s either got to steal great food or find some other way to get it. Luckily, he meets up with gangly doofus Linguini, who just got hired as the garbage boy for a once-grand Parisian restaurant. Culinary (and other) antics quickly ensue, etc.
I’m not going to say too much—the film’s not out until June 29th, and I’ll write a real review for the paper then—but I will say that Ratatouille’s one of my favorites so far this year. This summer, in particular, has been pretty uneven, with all the big “threequels” (Spider-Man 3, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and Shrek the Third) disappointing in one way or another, and only one really great movie so far (Knocked Up). Ocean’s Thirteen (out this Friday) is fun, but it’s nothing extraordinary, so unless you’re into giant transmorphin’ robots, this summer’s looking a bit anemic in terms of excitement-worthy major motion pictures. Ratatouille, at least, is going to change that.

All hail me! (And Computerhope.com)

OK, so I got a great deal on a desktop computer that used to belong to the fabulous internet company that I work for ($45 for something that's almost as good as the new desktop I bought for many times that last year).

The plan was to give the new 'puter to the boys, who have become disenchanted with the performance of our late-'90s vintage HP Pavilion (I don't see how). And the plan was going great: I installed Windows XP, took the wireless card and the firewire card out of the old computer, moved them to the new computer (which requires opening up and not screwing it up). All was well until I fired up the monitor, and it looked like an impressionist's nightmare: All blotchy and odd but still recognizable.

Thus began the painful troubleshooting process, made much less painful by Computerhope.com, an extremely helpful site. I won't trouble you with the step-by-step details, but suffice to to say that I ended up ruling out a ton of potential issues, reopening the computer, digging up the specs for a Compaq Evo D510, and re-installing the graphics media accelerator driver for my Intel 845G (that number was important, trust me). Somehow the process of wiping sensitive company data off my bargain brainbox left the "integrated graphics controller of Intel chipsets" without some vital piece of software. But I found it. And, for a little while at least, I feel smart.

But just wait until I try add the old computer to my home network .....

Hot and not ...

So, we bought another air conditioner. And we were on the verge of using it this past weekend. 'Cause it was freakin' HOT!!!

And yes, I'm a heat wimp. But I'm not alone. And it's not my fault! Read this, from a story written a few years ago by my former colleague, Sandi Doughton:

Hot weather rarely persists here, thanks to the cooling proximity of Puget Sound and the Pacific Ocean, said UW meteorologist Cliff Mass.
And that explains why each hot spell is a shock to our tender physiologies.
When the mercury climbs, a body that isn't used to high heat runs like a poorly tuned car. Sweat glands and other systems are suddenly forced to work harder to accomplish the same tasks — and they don't like it.
After a week or two of hot-weather exposure, sweat glands become more efficient and effective, said Dr. John O'Kane, sports-medicine professor and head physician for the UW Husky teams.
"You sweat more heavily and your sweat becomes more dilute, so you don't lose as much in terms of electrolytes," he said.
Heart rate also drops, and the body produces more plasma, effectively thinning the blood, O'Kane explained.
Part of acclimation may be in the mind as well.
"When you see the same weather day after day, you're dressed for it, you're expecting it, it may not feel as hot," he said.

Hot weather also makes me nervous. Especially when it comes so early in the year. It's just not right! This is the Puget Sound area, the rainy NW. I know May-September is the best time to be here, but nearly 90 degrees in early, early June? That's just not right.

Neither is what I had to go through to find out what the temperature was yesterday. Sheesh. I know the internet is all about NOW! and NEXT! but I had to all the way to weather.com to find out exactly what the temp was yesterday. Thank you, weather.com! (It was 84. Felt like 94 to me.)

Why did Al Gore have to invent global warming????

Sanjaya's people are not happy with me

If you check the comments on my post about some relatives meeting Sanjaya, you'll see that I have a gentle yet firm message of unhappiness from Sanjaya's "people" -- who didn't want pictures on the internet.

I'd send them a note privately, but they posted anonymously, so I'll just have to put my comments here:

Dear Sanjaya's people,

Have you seen US Magazine lately? I told a sweet story about Sanjaya meeting some kids and making them happy -- and included a picture of a celebrity who's not getting all Lohan on us -- and you've got a problem with that????

Sigh. I'm sorry that you think this is somehow disrespectful. Sheesh -- if you're going to give me a hard time, you should give me a hard time for joking that Sanjaya's big post-Idol move is working as a barista.

P.S. Don't be mad at my relatives. They didn't know I was going to put their picture on my blog. (Which has a vast readership of at least three people, so, you know, it's a huuuuge deal.)

Pulling my hair out

So the other day, Chas was sitting in my lap and we were discussing the heartbreak of not being able to have every toy you see, when he grabbed on to a couple of my hairs and tugged ... at first gently, then not-so-gently.

"Hey!" I said. "You pulled my hair out."

He found this HILARIOUS.

I made him promise to only take out the grays .....

Jezebel: The Gawker Group does fashion -- and it's FABULOUS

So at first blush, it seems like Jezebel (Celebrity, Sex, Fashion Without Airbrushing) is pretty cool. It manages to educate about fashion and what makes that powerful world go 'round, and yet provide some insights about body image in popular culture, etc. I'm already a fan of other Gawker media sites: Deadspin, as you know, as well as Defamer and, increasingly, Consumerist. (But not, ironically, Gawker -- too New Yorky).

How you feel about the Jezebel site may depend on how you feel about pictures like this magazine cover, featuring Beth Ditto of The Gossip (in a "you go, girl, own that body!!!" context, not an "oh MY GOD I can't believe that fat girl is naked" context). I admit, I was a little shocked. But mostly worried about how the world will react to her (glad she seems to have a "screw ya if you can't dig this" vibe, and I hope she really feels that way).

There are words, too. Like this post: Pimp My Vadge -- A Woman's Opinion

Sometime around the year 2002 plastic surgery started getting ridiculous. As if there wasn't enough pressure on women to look like hairless, hipless eunuchs with breasts, we started seeing advertisements in the back of our favorite magazines touting a new procedure called "vaginoplasty". Often, these ads touted something called "labiaplasty" in their copy as well -- and it didn't take master Sudoku skills to figure out what that meant. For the second installment of our "Pimp My Vadge" series, we sent our friend Slut Machine (link NSFW) undercover to get a different opinion -- a woman's, that is -- about about the relative "merits" of her vagina. Click play to hear the audio from her visit, then read her reactions after the jump.
Last week, when I got a labiaplasty consultation, I had a man doctor look at my lady parts. While he told me that my vadge didn't look "that bad" (thanks?) my labia majora could still be improved upon. He recommended vaginal lip lipo, saying that it was unlikely I would ever lose the labia fat through diet and exercise because I'm not "grossly overweight" (This guy really knows how to give a girl a compliment.)
For my second opinion, I made an appointment with a woman doctor. I'd been tipped off that this doc had hired a PR firm to handle the cosmetic surgery portion of her practice. The reasons behind why a gynecologist would need to publicize such procedures seemed questionable to me. But I couldn't help but think that since this gyno was a woman, she couldn't possibly be on board for making money by allowing women to feel inadequate and self-conscious about yet another part of their bodies.
I have to say that I really liked this doctor right off the bat, which I hadn't been expecting. In her billowing, multi-layered, long black skirt, she reminded me of Stevie Nicks, and that sort of organic, mystical grace comforted me much more than the typical, cold, clinical experience of being examined.
For this visit, instead of making up some bogus excuse as to why I was displeased with my very normal labia, I decided to just let Dr. Blank, Medicine Woman take a look a my crotch and tell me what she thought of it.
I placed my feet in the stirrups. With my lips parted, I kept my mouth shut and let her go to work. To my pleasant surprise, she was way honest with me about how there wasn't much she could do, and she also informed me of some very crucial info that the dude doctor failed to relay, regarding damaging the nerves of my clit (aka my livelihood!), should I go through with any surgery to my labia majora.
You know, I thought that first doctor's idea of lip lipo sounded sort of insane. I watch Discovery Health Channel. Lipo is a violent procedure. I imagine it would ransack your property downtown. I feel for any girl who would be misguided enough to go down that route. I mean, I really feel for her. Just thinking about that shit gives me phantom pains.


Earlier: Pimp My Vadge

We're Beginning To Look A Lot Like Barbie

Ichiro's mental powers (OK, there IS something interesting about baseball!)

Leave it to Deadspin to have the best spin on Ichiro's latest unusual comments. The rice-ball eatin', super-flexible, sometimes inscrutable Mariners superstar said that when he was close to losing a ball in the sun, he tried to use his mind to solve the problem:

"The ball became the same color as the sky,'' he said, through interpreter Ken Barron. "So, I wasn't able to see it ... I was sending mental signals for the ball not to come my way, because during that time of day it's impossible for me to see the ball so I lacked mental signals. I lacked in that area.'

"Usually, I don't send mental signals," Ichiro replied. "So, because this is the first time, I thought, please don't come my way."

You can read more, with funny commentary, here.

Happy (well-deserved) retirement, Susan!

My friend and former P-I colleague Susan Phinney is wrapping up her newspaper career today and launching a whirlwind tour of the world that will take her to Europe, Montana and, maybe, Belize.

Susan is the person who taught me how to say Ralph Lauren (rhymes with "whorin'"), and tried to teach me about fashion. I was not made for fashion (I'm tall enough but would need to lose 75 pounds to be the right size), but I would argue that I have my own fabulous sense of style: Sort of preppy-silly (polo shirts, Levis, khakis, and Justice League of America/Mr. Rogers/Seattle Storm Ts).

Anyway, here is Susan, reacting to an adorable card made by Cheryl and featuring my boys (can't go wrong when featuring the boys).

And this is just a picture of one of my former colleagues, the legendary Grant Haller. I think of him as a big, hippie bear. He also resembles the fisherman in the picture behind him, so that makes him even more classic Seattle.

I find this new flavor of spam unsettling

Flush 20 Excess Pounds out of your Colon
From: Colon Cleanse Support

TIRED OF DIETING?

FLUSH UP TO 20 POUNDS FROM YOUR COLON WHILE ELIMINATING CANCER-CAUSING TOXINS!!!!

Wow, they make it sound so appealing.

Meeting Sanjaya

I pretty much quit American Idol in the middle of Season 2. Hard to say why ... I think I just felt like once was enough. Plus, Kelly Clarkson (and Justin Big-Hair) were hard to top.

But of course I know who Sanjaya is. And good for him for making things interesting this year. So I understand why my niece and her family were psyched to meet him over the weekend. And I'll share my mean joke: "So he was working at Starbucks?"

He's not working at Starbucks. I'm not sure what he's doing, but this weekend, he made my relatives happy. That's Gavin on the right and Lindsey on the left. Apparently their mother, Stacey, danced with Sanjaya while he sang a song. Go Stacey!

Digging the family garden

The space formerly occupied by blackberries (our side yard) is now a garden ... enclosed by bricks, and full of six yards of dirt.

Six yards of dirt doesn't sound like much, I'll be honest. Then it got delivered. In a big ol' dump truck. And we started digging and digging and digging and moving the dirt. And the pile didn't seem any smaller. We worked until we were dog tired on Saturday, then did some shopping yesterday (and saw Shrek 3).

Today we finished the job. Cheryl did most of the dirt-moving, and I did most of the brick-laying, which means I got the better end of the deal. Cheryl and I were laughing about how I asked her to "take a break" from dirt hauling to bring me a wheelbarrow full of dirt. I'm glad we could laugh about it.

Next task(s): Build the swinging chair we bought today with our 10 percent off coupon at Lowe's. Then stain the fence with the stain and the sprayer we also bought with our 10 percent off deal. Man, we bought ourselves a lot of work.

Pictures with Jeff Gordon (sort of)

My boy Eddie can now pick Jeff Gordon's car out of a crowd on the track. And he was thrilled to get his picture taken with him (though a little unclear on the concept, as you can see by the way he posed).

Rosie's done with the View ... and so am I

Rosie had another three weeks on her contract, but after an unfortunate blowup with the callow Elizabeth Hasselbeck (who turned out to be more of a friend to ideologues than to the fellow mom across the table), she decided to go. It just makes me so sad. For a while there, I thought the show would go down in history as a tribute to the kinds of meaningful discussions where people who care about each other disagree but don't become divided.

It's interesting that this happened at the same time as my split from my church. More sadness. More divides. Maybe that has made me particularly sensitive to the Rosie situation. Maybe it's the family argument that ensued when I actually shared my views (about the war, gay rights, etc.) with my brother's in-laws, etc., who griped about Rosie without any understanding of the reality that Rosie and I are not so different. Or maybe it's just the fact that I take things that happen to chunky, smartass, pop-culture obsessed, dark-haired lesbian moms personally.

MSNBC is doing a vote about Rosie and the View. Go here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18868495/ and do what your heart tells you.

Organic Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese? Really?

Now, I'm all for organic. And I've loved Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese since before there were microwave ovens. But this -- available on Amazon.com, with a lovely bonus deal from Kraft -- seems excessive.

(Although I'd like to know what the organic source for the nuclear-orange color of the cheese is.)

Rosie Vs. Elizabeth .... worse and worse

It's getting harder and harder to watch the view as Rosie O'Donnell's time on the show winds down. It just increasingly makes me sad ....

Today, apparently, the ideological differences hit a new flashpoint and it clearly went beyond politics. I think Rosie is genuinely wounded that Elizabeth is a fan of the very shows (FOX News and others) that twist her words.

I think it's not unlike the way I feel about the fact that my Dad (and brother) are both Republicans even though Republicans are anti-gay. It's difficult for me to get my mind around the fact that they can consider my wife and my sons their relatives and yet support politicians who work against families like mine.

Interesting political disagreements are one thing. But to see Rosie attacked for raising valid questions (Why did WTC Building 7 fall even though a plane didn't hit it? What makes a terrorist, and is it possible that we seem like terrorists to Iraqis?) grows tiresome.

I love it when the big, white boats come in

Some people don't like cruises. They find them confining or unhip or whatever. I am not one of those people. In fact, when I see a cruise ship (a frequent occurence in Seattle during the summer), I smile. Saw this one the other day while on my way to drop my car off for brake service. And even though I knew I'd end up spending hundreds of dollars, I was still happy.

(I'm taking a cruise this summer -- a Rosie cruise that departs in ... wow, less than 8 weeks!!!)

I am almost too tired to type

So we spent the weekend helping my niece Delsa and her husband Neil move out of the space that formerly held their business, Max Gymnastics. Yup, the biz didn't make it, but considering that the stress of running it pretty much gave Delsa a heart attack, it's probably for the best that they decided to close it.

I really don't have much right to complain, since the heart attack survivor worked her tail off not just today and yesterday, but for many, many days leading up to this weekend. And her husband and mother in law also worked much, much more than me. Well, they are tougher than me. And I am going to complain. My feet are KILLING me, and my arms and legs don't want to move. I did a lot of broom-pushing (more tiring than you think) and some lifting of boxes, gymnastic equipment and such.

Delsa told Cheryl she's never seen her work so hard. I know it's been a while since I worked that hard. I have a sense of accomplishment, which is nice. But I'm too tired to really revel in it. I swear, I could fall asleep while writing thi --

Is 4 too young for an MP3 player?

I have mixed feelings about giving my boys a present that will allow them to tune us out .....

But these are sure cute. And less than $40 each. They're "Shakers" made by Sansa, the company that's second only to Apple in terms of MP3 players. Kids can control the songs they're listening to by shaking the devices or by turning a knob. Shaking is cooler, of course. There are also two headphone jacks and a speaker for sharing (though the whole point of things like this seems to be not sharing, I thought).

Anyway, I'm tempted. But it doesn't take much, when it comes to getting something for my boys.

http://accessories.us.dell.com/sna/productdetail.aspx?c=us&l=en&s=dhs&cs=19&sku=A0984537

I finally met my friend's baby! (And he's adorable)

This is Nathaniel. He's a funny kid: Seems very much to be assessing the world, and not entirely pleased with what he sees. Smiled at me, though. :)

Wait -- a hoops star AND an A student?

It's Seattle Storm season, and while I don't have time to be as obsessed with the team as I have been in the past, I have enough lingering obsessiveness to start reading up on the gals and the WNBA.

And I came across this nugget about Storm star Lauren Jackson, from Jayda Evans at the Seattle Times. (Yes, I'm usually a P-I loyalist, but not when it comes to Storm coverage. Sorry.)

Jackson did some number-crunching during last summer's injury-riddled season. She used her research to write a 40-page strategic planning paper about KeyArena that helped her complete work on an business management degree she earned in December in her native Australia.

Jackson researched forums, Web sites, financial paperwork and news articles, devising the same three options people in the area have read the past year — splitting the Sonics and Storm, moving both teams, or building a new arena.

"I hope we keep the Storm here and play at KeyArena because we didn't lose that much money as a franchise. In the last couple of years anyway," said Jackson of her research, which earned her an A on the paper. "[Seattle] is pretty much where I spend a majority of my time now. I spend more time here than I do in Australia. It's kind of like home and I've definitely kept an eye on the situation. Hopefully it will turn out for the best for us."

The Storm plays its season opener Saturday -- and while the team's future in Seattle may not be assured, here's something else to be happy about as long as the time is here: LJ is healthy and happy and ready to win. I was worried when I read that she played in Korea AND Russia in the off-season, considering that her shins were stress-fractured and misery-causing. But apparently playing in Korea and Russia made her feel better and not worse. Here's a report from the Storm's official site:

"It's not fun when you're always dragging around some sort of injury, and for years I was," offers Jackson. "Now for me it's a lot more fun being out there knowing that I'll be able to walk after the game or I'll be able to practice tomorrow or, if I do something bad, I'll be able to work on it. It's really been a bonus for me."
Jackson is somewhat at a loss to explain the difference in her health. There has been talk of orthotics that have helped relieve the pressure on her feet and shins, and Jackson thinks it may have to do with playing through the off-season or her body maturing. For the most part, she is not interested in wondering why.
"Everything has just ... I don't know ... fallen into place," she says, quickly adding, "It's about bloody time."

My left hand had a very bad day (and it wasn't so great for the rest of me)

I'll start with the happy ending: My hand is still attached. My heart is still beating. I didn't suffer any nerve damage and I don't think the scar with be bad. Oh, yeah: And we have a new dishwasher installed.

It all started Saturday morning, when my brother-in-law Larry and I began what we thought would be a fairly simple task: Installing a new dishwasher. We had actually installed a dishwasher in the same spot not long ago, when I had to remove then reinstall our old dishwasher while replacing the flooring. It wasn't hard.

This time, though, we had to deal with slightly different hose outputs and inputs ... and the jerry-rigged nature of our setup created some, well, complications. We ended up replacing copper tubing with threaded-metal hose. And while getting the latter into place, I brushed up against a live wire (I thought I switched off the right part of the electrical panel, but ... not so much). This was an unusual experience. It hurt, for sure, but once I saw that my hand was intact, I was intrigued.

Cheryl was the one who noticed that the shock scared away my blood. But soon my pale hand re-pinked and the shock became a funny story.

Then it came time for me to open the packaging of some additional threaded-metal hose. Didn't see any scissors, so I did it with a sharp, new steak knife. And the knife cut through the packaging, then plunged into the flesh between my thumb and forefinger. I knew immediately that something bad had happened. I went into the bathroom, washed away the blood, and I knew that it was ugly. People get grossed out when I say this, but the wound looked like a puppet mouth, and big enough to hold a nickel. I could see the layers of my skin, deep into my hand.

Amazingly, there was no nerve damage and very little bleeding. Really, if you're going to plunge a knife into your hand, this is the way to do it. In fact, there was so little bleeding that I thought I could get away without a trip to the ER. You know, that costs real money!

But Cheryl talked me into it, with help from the consulting nurse that I dialed up on the ride over. Cheryl says the nurse probably thought we were drunk with all the laughing going on. But it was kinda ridiculous.

I'll cut to the chase: We went to a doc in the box in south Federal Way and got excellent -- well, fast -- service from people who seemed as amused by us at the absurdity of the situation. We were in and out in something like 20 minutes, and though the doctor seemed unaware of how to use the dermabond pen. I could have gotten a stitch, but instead I got steri-strips coated in superglue.

And a good story to tell.

P.S. Larry finished the dishwasher installation.

Phrases you never want to hear ....

"Uh ... where'd I put the superglue?"

Speaking of superglue, just wait'll you read what happened to my left hand this weekend (in the next post).

The freeway was like a parking lot, so yes, I used my computer.

And I am not ashamed!!! (Though I'm glad there wasn't a cop around.)

I can say that I knew award-winning restaurant critic Rebekah Denn back when ....

If you haven't heard of the James Beard awards, just trust me when I tell you that they're a freakin' big deal. And my friend (and former colleague) won one this weekend:

P-I restaurant critic Denn wins Beard award
P-I STAFF

Seattle P-I restaurant critic Rebekah Denn on Sunday won a 2007 James Beard Foundation award.

Denn, a P-I critic for the past 18 months, won the award for "Newspaper or Magazine Restaurant Review or Critique."

"I'm so honored I just can't believe it," Denn said.

The award ceremony was at the Hudson Theatre in New York City.

The James Beard Foundation is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to celebrating America's culinary heritage.

This is the 20th anniversary of the James Beard Foundation awards.

Before becoming the P-I's restaurant critic Denn, was an award-winning Metro desk reporter, most recently having worked as the newspaper's education writer.

This is the kind of mother I have dreamed of being ...

Ignore the negative comments. Those people don't appreciate the sublime joy of a mommy talkin' all gangsta.

My niece had a heart attack. She is not even 40.

So the good news is that it's possible to have a heart attack that's like a cramp, with no apparent permanent damage. The bad news is ... well, she could have another one, and it is possible to die from them. But the good news is that she has changed her life and taken a job that's less stressful.

Cheryl's dad died of a heart attack. He didn't realize he was having it (thought he pulled a muscle), and by the time he realized that it wasn't a pulled muscle, too much damage had been done. Thankfully, Delsa knew something was wrong and when a doctor thought he was doing her a favor offered not to do some tests (to save money, 'cause he mistakenly thought she didn't have insurance) she insisted that he do the tests. And she had taken some aspirin. And she lives to tell the tale.

The doggie puppet likes Chas

Puppet show at the library today

I liked this billboard

I also like the billboards with the A&F half-naked guys (yes, I can still appreciate guys) but this seems more uplifting.

Vote for Cheryl!

When my beloved turned 35, I gave her a birthday party that resembled the kickoff of a presidential run. 'Cause, you know, when you're 35, you can run for president.

The campaign never really took off, but I have hopes for this one at Blogger's Choice Awards.

Vote for my girl by clicking here!!! She's the coolest.

Cars update: We got DJ

And Guido, Luigi and the tractor. It's like finally being able to scratch an itch that's been bugging you. And bugging you. And bugging you.

Isn't it ironic -- 2007? Alanis does My Humps

Do you think that Fergie fans get the irony?

The P-I lives! (without me ... and that's OK)

I always thought the P-I would survive its battle for survival with the Seattle Times. But I'll be honest ... I didn't expect this:

Seattle P-I and Times settle legal dispute

A settlement ending a four-year dispute between Seattle's two daily newspapers will give the Seattle P-I "a new lease on life -- a nine-year lease," P-I Editor and Publisher Roger Oglesby said as he confirmed the deal to jubilant staff members Monday.

Photos taken later that day by my pal Curt Milton (the guy on the left) showed how jubilant they looked, and deservedly so. I left the P-I for the more stable waters of Amazon.com ... so the obvious question: Regret much?

And the answer is no. I left the P-I not only because of the uncertainty, but also because I didn't think that I could wholeheartedly lead in that situation. I perceived ... a disconnect between the realities of the situation and the way that those realities were being addressed from above. I'll just leave it at that.

I while I knew I could navigate that disconnect, I just didn't want to. Particularly when I could be a part of launching something at the forefront of the way we consume video and movies.

What we call the news ....

Good. Funny. Insightful. And kinda sad. But funny!

What We Call the News | Send To Friends | Funny Animations at JibJab

Work window view, 4/6: See, I told you it was sunny!

I'm very happy when the sun is shining. Except when I think about how it makes the grass grow.

The downside of sunshine is that it's hard for me to focus on, you know ... work. But I'm about to buckle down. Really.

The other downside is that I keep thinking of all the work I need to do around the house. This pretty weather just makes the grass want to grow and stuff, and that's not good.

It's baseball season, and I don't care much. Probably I care as little as I have in a long time, but I know the Mariners have been winning. And that retired M's star and clubhouse cutup Jay Buhner visited the team and played photo-op grab ass with the current crop of M's (who aren't as funny as him). Good times.

It's almost Easter, and I do care about that. The boys are potentially going to get a TON of toys. Easter was never THAT big of a holiday when I was growing up, but now it means more both in a spiritual sense (our church gives GREAT Easter) and a "getting crap from the Easter Bunny" sense.

Why I can't hate Rob & Amber

Reality shows don't always bring out the best in people. Which is why we watch, right? I mean, would it really be that fun to see hours and hours of cooperation?

I'm enjoying Survivor, and dabble in the occasional Real World/Road Rules challage, but my favorite of the genre has to be The Amazing Race. The Race puts a different spin on reality, pitting couple against couple (and, once, family against family -- but I'm trying to forget that blah season). These relationships, be they friendships, marriages, dating, etc., are either forged in the heat of competition or just flame out. Yelling is one thing, and it can get downright unpleasant, especially when it's followed by a slap. But usually, it's just the entertaining kind of static, and good pairs work through it.

I am a little surprised to be saying this, but Rob and Amber, the arrogant Bostonian and the pretty girl who fell in love on Survivor All-Stars, set a great example for couples in reality TV. It's moderately annoying that they're whoring themselves in all kinds of ways -- they had a televised wedding and show on Fox Reality that should have been called Unsubtle Product Placement instead of Against the Odds. But they seem to genuinely love (and like) each other. They're tough competitors, but they don't chew on each other when things go south. That's not to say that their interactions lack drama: They don't. Rob and Amber don't always agree, and they're arrogant. They're also not afraid to lie, which they point out is not against the rules.

After winning the first three legs of The Amazing Race All-Stars, they got eliminated, and I miss them. And after reading this article, I can't wait to see what they'll do next.

Cougs ready to dance!

I follow sports less and less with each passing day, but I can't help but be proud of my Cougs, who are taking part in the NCAA basketball tournament/big-time gambling fest, starting Thursday.

The game is at the odd time of 11:40 or something like that (the link I'm attaching has the Eastern time listed). So I won't necessarily be watching, but I'll be rooting for my alma mater to surprise everyone as they have all season, when they were predicted to finish last.

Here are some interesting tidbits about their Cougs, and their opponent, Oral Roberts University. (I'd be rooting for anyone to be ORU, but I will especially enjoy it if it is the Cougs.)

(A special addition to my joy -- the Huskies weren't even invited to the NIT tournament, which is for the also-rans. They had a great run in the NCAA tourney last year, then the bottom fell out, in no small part because their sparkplug, Nate Robinson, left the team for NBA riches. Of course, he's on the Knicks, so he's not doing a lot of winning.)

Two days away from the Internet, and I'm just a little twitchy

So, I took something resembling a vacation. I've not been at work since Thursday, though I did sign on to my work email, etc., on Friday and Sunday (briefly). This is the longest I've been separated from my work stuff for at least eight months.

And it's been .... OK. I'm ready to get back at it. Have eased back in to Web connection by looking at some of my fallbacks: seattlepi.com, deadspin.com and MSNBC.com. Will log on tomorrow before I hop the bus, so I can deal with my email on the ride up to work.

Saturday was the boys' fourth birthday party, so I spent Friday getting ready. Sunday was "head to mountain cabin" day. We finally hit the road around 3 p.m., after hours of preparation (packing, fretting, procrastinating and playing with our new birthday presents). The cabin, specifically, Bear Mountain Lodge was really, really cool. We'll go back for sure -- just not at this time of year when winter stuff has melted away and spring stuff has yet to begin.

We got the last sleigh ride of the season, a sodden, muddy affair. The best thing about it was our driver, George, who had a waxed, curly mustache and an interesting way of looking at the world. He loves his dog. He thinks people ascribe too many emotions to horses (though, giving in our anthropomorphization, he compared them to teenagers who just need to be kept busy or they'll get into trouble). He's not too bugged by global warming, though he seems to figure it's inevitable.

We stayed at the cabin with our friends Cara and Lori and their daughter Casey, who was also born thanks to the contribution of California Cryobank donor 3387. They're really cool people, who we obviously have a lot in common with. We met on the Rosie cruise last summer and though 3387 provided our initial connection, we would be pals without it. In fact, we're happier not dwelling on this genetic happenstance.

We'll tell the boys someday about their special bond with their friend Casey. I'm interested to see what they make of it. We believe it will be their relationship to define, not ours.

Happy birthday, Eddie and Chas!

I am so tired, I can't move from my chair. Can't turn on the TV. All I can do is blog because I have the computer right in front of me, and my fingers still work (if not my brain). The boys had their fourth birthday party today, at Max Gymnastics.

First, I never want to have a party at my house again. It was wonderful to have things just taken care of, and they were well taken care of by Cheryl's niece Delsa, who owns the gym. The kids had a blast, playing and goofing around.

Eddie and Chas received a mountain of presents that almost didn't fit in the van. Seriously.

We had a fabulous cake made with lots of love and no small amount of obsession and stress by the boys' cousin Heather and auntie Cathy.

We had friends from preschool, friends from Ohio, and family from all around. It really went well, and I'm not just saying that because I'm exhausted.

Now the little shits are refusing to sleep. I wish I had their energy.

I think I was born to be a South Park character

So, while doing some background work for a South Park promotion, I stumbled upon this fun little web site: http://www.sp-studio.de/

And I made the image you see at left, which I think is a rather astonishing likeness. It helps that I have cartoon-friendly features, like glasses and long, messy hair.

To read what I wrote about it for work, check out this link:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/plog/post.html/ref=cm_blog_pl/104-1713344-7462300?ie=UTF8&pt=personalBlog&aid=PlogMyCustomersAgent&ot=customer&pd=1173296149.889&pid=PMCASDQOJGOVEX58at1173294686&iid=ASDQOJGOVEX58

The kind of toy-grubbing scum I used to be

I used to collect action figures. Which means I collected toys. Which isn't so bad until you realize I did this in my 20s and early 30s. But I had lesbian impulses to sublimate.

I was once part of the sad, sad group that stood outside Toys R Us at 9:25, waiting for the doors to open so that we could rush in and get our Star Wars figures, our Hot Wheels toys, our Xena figures, etc. I did not collect all of these things, but I got into my own crap (mostly Xena and female action figures of pretty much any type, including Laura Linney from Congo -- betcha didn't know Laura Linney had an action figure!).

Anyhoo, I relived this obsession a bit when I had a few free moments the other morning. I had to run an errand near a Toys R Us, and wandered in for a few minutes to see if I might want to pick up any last-minute goodies before the boys' birthday party. I went to the Cars area and saw a guy speaking what sounded like Russian into a cell phone ear clip. He looked with great suspiciousness at me, and eyed the cars I'd selected (not really rare ones, I later learned).

"Do you have anything you might want to trade? I am looking for a Chick Hicks," he said. Though it sounded more like "Cheeck Heeks." He also said it was for his kid, but I saw right through that. He made small talk by telling me that the really good ones don't even make it to the shelf, they get grabbed by employees, who make extra scratch selling rarities on the secondary market. I knew this happened, though I didn't know what a hot commodity Cars toys were and are. I declined his offer of a trade, as I pretty much had what I needed and felt sufficiently skeeved out just being near him.

Then, in line, I ran into some guys with armloads of Hot Wheels. One of them, feigning small talk, complimented my choice of Cars and asked if I needed a Hamm. This is a car version of the piggy bank character from Toy Story (don't ask -- it's complicated). I declined. My boys like the race cars, not the Carsworld spin on famous Pixar/Disney characters from prior movies.

I used to be like those guys. I tell myself I'm different now: I'm not buying for me, I'm not obsessed with getting a mint package (as the package will just get ripped open anyway). But the pursuit of Cars and, to a lesser extent, Thomas trains, stirs this addictive part of my nature that scares me a little.

Now I need to find a DJ.

From gray to ... purple?

OK, so rather than get my hair colored like a grownup, I decided to apply Manic Panic to the grays at my temples. MP is a semi-permanent, semi-punk hair coloring option, one that I applied years ago to no avail (my hair was just too dark for it to show).

Well, no my hair is not entirely too dark. So it's now black-ish ... and if you look close, also purple. It makes me smile to think of it, 'cause it's just so silly. The key question is: What will I do when I have enough grays for the wacky colors to really show?

Happy Birthday Ms. Pac-Man!

Happy Birthday to the best video game ever! I really bonded with Ms. P. Brings back happy memories of going to the Starbase One arcade with my Mom.

By Ian Hodder
For TODAYshow.com

Don't call Ms. Pac-Man a fad. Leg warmers and Rubik's Cubes, those were fads. The "femme fatale of the game world," as she was initially advertised, remains a superstar 25 years after shooting to fame in 1982.
Ms. Pac-Man is a master of reinvention, hopping from platform to platform to keep her celebrity fresh. She established herself on arcade consoles (25 cents per play) and today celebrates her 25th birthday with an iPod version of her iconic game ($4.99 per download at iTunes).
Not too shabby for a character once dismissed as derivative. Ms. Pac-Man was inspired, of course, by her beau Pac-Man, created in 1979 by the Japanese company Namco. The yellow fellow's better half hit arcades three years later, sporting red lips, major eyelashes, and that cute little red bow.

In terms of game play, Ms. Pac-Man is similar to her sweetie, though faster-paced; with four different mazes, featuring "warp tunnels" that connect opposite sides; and so-called coffee breaks that track her courtship ("Act 1: They Meet").
But even after a quarter-century, Ms. Pac-Man has yet to reveal all her secrets.
From her surname's origins to her "Friends" cameo, here are seven trivia tidbits about the virtual world's most a-maze-ing lady:
1. The name "Pac" stems from "paku paku," which is Japanese slang for the motion of eating, kind of like "gobble, gobble" in English. The original 1979 game was called "Puck Man," which was wisely tweaked before its American launch.
2. Ms. Pac-Man's first maze features 220 dots, four power pellets, and four ghosts, named Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Sue. All of the ghosts also appeared in Pac-Man, except for Sue (she's the orange one), who replaced the original's Clyde.
3. Theoretically, there is no limit to the highest possible Ms. Pac-Man score. The current record belongs to Abdner Ashman of Queens, N.Y., who in April, 2006, hit 933,580. That's a lot of bananas, the most valuable bonus fruit, worth 5,000 points each.
4. A 2001 poll by Game Informer Magazine ranked Ms. Pac-Man the No. 9 video game of all time. Similarly, IGN.com in 2003 listed it at No. 13 and noted, "Let's not forget, Ms. Pac-Man was a pioneer for female video game characters of the future. You go, girl!"
5. Hardcore Ms. Pac-Man geeks have developed their own jargon, as explained on the site Pactionary.com. For example, "premature pac-ulation" occurs when players mistakenly think they've eaten a power pellet, only to turn around and die while trying to eat a ghost.
6. Ms. Pac-Man's likeness has graced dozens of products: clocks, clothing, dolls, games, housewares, jigsaw puzzles, makeup bags, plastic figurines, sneakers, toothbrushes, windup toys, plus (alongside Pac-Man) a highly collectable plastic lunchbox.
7. The video vixen has also appeared in films ("War Games," "Man on the Moon"), music (rapper Lil' Flip samples her sounds on his 2004 tune "Game Over"), and television "Futurama," "Scrubs"). An entire 2002 episode of "Friends" revolves around the pursuit of Ms. Pac-Man high scores. Also, check YouTube for several live-action re-creations.
Want to play? Current versions of Ms. Pac-Man are available for major game systems, in addition to the aforementioned iPod edition, and hipster bars across the country proudly tout their old-school consoles. (Traveler's tip: New York's LaGuardia Airport has an arcade unit inside security at Central Terminal, Concourse A.)
Propelled by her game's perennial appeal, and a touch of eighties nostalgia, Ms. Pac-Man is still trendy 25 years after her original heyday. And that's more than we can say for leg warmers.

Funny, I was partial to wombats until now ...

This just in, from The New Zealand Herald by way of Keith Olbermann:

Australia rocked by 'lesbian' koala revelation

Female koalas indulge in lesbian "sex sessions", rejecting male suitors and attempting to mate with each other, sometimes up to five at a time, according to researchers.
The furry, eucalyptus-eating creatures appear to develop this tendency for same-sex liaisons when they are in captivity. In the wild, they remain heterosexual.
Scientists monitoring the marsupials with digital cameras counted three homosexual interactions for every heterosexual one.
"Some females rejected the advances of males that were in their enclosures, only to become willing participants in homosexual encounters immediately after," say the researchers. ...
One theory put forward by the researchers is that the females do it to attract males; another is that it is simply hormonal, or that it is a stress reliever.

That's funny ... I think people think the same kind of stuff about human lesbians ....

P.S. I really did have a toy wombat I carried around with me in grade school. As if you need me to tell you that I was an odd kid.

No Rockstar for me ....

I've only been moderately tempted to try those crazy "energy drinks" the kids just love (not MY kids, but, you know, kids in general). Anyway, I won't be trying Rockstar brand, thanks to this heads-up from Defamer.com:

Homophobic dirtbag radio host Michael Savage (whose family owns Rockstar energy drink, FYI; adjust your caffeinated-battery-acid consumption habits accordingly) won't be seen around the CAA Death Star after all, as the recent signee to the agency is dumped after word got around about his "I don't like a woman married to a woman. It makes me want to puke" comments re: Melissa Etheridge.